But Cade just smiled, and thanked Ben—the owner—for his work and we went on our way. It was a refreshing change.
We got into the car and Cade drove me back to the catering company, where I had left my car. I stared out the windows, remembering how Cade had been gifted a car by his parents for his sixteenth birthday, so we’d go riding around in it all the time. Of course, his car had been a rather a flashy one, fitting for a teenage boy who wanted to show off. Everyone in high school had drooled over the car. Or Cade. Or both.
“Hey, that’s Abbot Park,” Cade noted as we approached the turn for it, and he took it. “Sorry, I just have to take this trip down memory lane.”
He grinned at me. “Remember how we’d come here when we’d skip school after lunch?”
As if I could have forgotten. We had so many steamy make-out sessions beneath the trees in the park that I’d lost track. It had been fun—a place where nobody from high school or home would find us. We could be outdoors and in nature but safe and secret at the same time.
Cade’s smile turned wicked. “Remember the time you told your mom you were hanging out with a friend that night, and we snuck back to the park after dark and made love down by the water?”
I blushed. “Yes.” I managed to keep my voice under control. There was no way I was telling him about how I had replayed that particular memory more than once in my mind during the long and lonely nights after Cade had left me.
Cade stopped the car in the parking lot and got out. I followed him as he walked down to the water, his hands in his pockets. There was a melancholic air about him, and I wondered if this was about more than just remembering fun sexual escapades from when we were teenagers.
“You all right?” I asked. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to soothe him as I once had, but the rules were different now. We hadn’t seen each other in years, he’d broken my heart when we’d last seen each other, he was engaged now—it had all changed since we’d last been together.
Cade nodded. After a moment, he spoke. “I just missed Detroit, that’s all. I missed my hometown. D.C.’s too hot and muggy and the traffic is terrible.”
“I’m sure everyone living here will be glad to know that you missed Detroit because of the better traffic,” I said, trying to cheer him up a bit.
Cade laughed softly, but it wasn’t a genuine one. He seemed…sad, and I wondered what kind of life he was living. If he was really happy with the choices he’d made. The part of me that was still nursing my broken heart had a vengeful feeling that screamed “You made your bed, now lie in it!” But the rest of me cared too much. I cared about Cade, as smart or dumb as that might be, and I didn’t want him to be unhappy.
“There are other things I miss,” Cade admitted. He turned and looked at me, his eyes full of wistfulness. “Like the people.”
At some point we’d come close enough that he could touch me if he wanted to. It would be really easy for me to reach out to him, but I kept my hands at my sides even as my heart beat wildly.
“Oh?” I said. It was just a whisper.
This moment reminded me of our first kiss, when we’d been sitting on the abandoned bleachers after school. My mom hadn’t cared where I was, and his parents had been busy, so they didn’t know—they just assumed he was always where he was supposed to be, Cade had told me—and there’d been no one around to see us. All the teachers and administrators were inside getting work done.
It had been the Fall, chilly but not cold enough for snow. Cade had said we could do homework together outside on the bleachers, where it was nice, instead of in the library, and I’d jumped at the chance to be alone with him where others couldn’t find us.
You sure your mom won’t mind if you stay? Cade had looked so earnest when he’d asked me the question.
You don’t know my mom, I’d replied. My mother didn’t care about me, she let me do whatever I wanted. High school hadn’t been just a chance to escape poverty, it had been a chance to get away from my mother and to better life that I could carve for myself with people who actually cared about me.
Cade had this sad look on his face, like he could tell how it had hurt me that my mom cared so little, even though I’d also gotten used to it. Then he’d gently, oh so gently, taken my chin in his hand and guided my face towards his, gifting me with the softest of kisses.
I had never been kissed before. Nobody had ever been interested in me. Heavyset, quiet, nerdy, who would want a girl like me? I wasn’t talkative or popular, and I wasn’t stick thin with bouncy blonde hair. Now, I was confident and proud in how I looked—I loved my curves, my auburn hair, my freckles—but as a teenager, I’d just felt awkward.
Cade had kissed me like he thought I was the most precious thing in the world.
I was jolted back to the present when Cade put his hand on my chin
, just as he had all those years ago, on the bleachers at the football field.
“The people here,” he whispered, “are irresistible.”
He leaned in and kissed me, but it wasn’t quite like our first kiss. This one, Cade pushed in, sealed our lips together, not dirty, but firm—I felt like I was being swept off my feet and before I could stop myself, I was kissing him back.
He was just as good of a kisser as I remembered him to be. I felt his hands, firm and soft, on my waist, holding me, and I planted my hands on his chest for balance. Oh, God, I could feel his muscles underneath his shirt, and I shivered with delight. When we’d last had each other, we’d been so young, just barely adults. Now, Cade was a man, through and through, and I wanted to see and feel every inch of his muscles….
What? No! No, I wasn’t going to see anything of his, because he was engaged! He was going to be married!
I pulled away, gasping, my chest heaving. My heart was racing. I was so torn—on the one hand, I wanted to step back in and kiss him more, I was swooning from his touch and his affection—but on the other hand, I was horrified and felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on my head.
“Fuck…” Cade said, running a hand through his hair. Yes, that rather encapsulated the situation, I felt.