“Because we love each other.” I quickly licked the drips forming on my cone.
“You didn’t
love each other before?”
My heart hurt that she’d think that. Guilt followed that I’d let my resentments get between me and Brayden.
“We did. We just…sometimes life gets so busy you forget to show how much you love the people in your lives.”
She shrugged.
“You don’t like the kissing?” I believed my parents loved each other, but I couldn’t remember them showing affection in front of me, so I wasn’t sure what Lanie was feeling about me and Brayden doing it.
She squished her nose. “It’s silly.”
I laughed. “You’re silly.”
She grinned.
“What did we miss?” Brayden said as he helped Noah back in his seat and set a cup of ice cream in front of him.
“Kissing is silly,” I said.
“You say that like silly is bad.” Brayden leaned over and kissed me, as Lanie did a face palm. “Maybe we can get silly later,” he whispered to me.
Inside, my blood warmed from love and anticipation of what silly things he might do to me.
As we drove home that afternoon, I was feeling so happy, and then it hit again. That days like this would be ending for the foreseeable future as I went into treatment. And if it didn’t go well, who knew if we’d ever have a day like this again.
I looked at Brayden, who was singing a song with the kids. Despite how things had gotten off track, I had no doubt that he’d do whatever was needed for the kids if I wasn’t here.
He looked at me as he sang. A knowing look came into his eyes. “Stay present, Terra,” he said.
He was right. I joined in with the signing. I suspect we were a sight to see as we drove home; all four of us singing about milkshakes and snowflakes. I couldn’t deny that if this were my last day that it was one well-lived. I worked to not waste a minute of it perseverating on what was to come.
19
Brayden
The last few days had been near perfection. Only Terra’s health scare put a dimmer on all our happiness. I suppose in some ways, it was what forced us both to relook at what was important and how our petty resentments needed to stop. But now that we were in tune again, I hated that her illness was hanging over us.
I knew it weighed on her and often caught her off guard. Like when we talked about Lanie growing up and having boyfriends. The change in Terra was visceral in her grief that she might not be there for her daughter. Fuck that. I’d do my damnedest to make sure Terra beat her cancer.
When Monday came around again, I hated to leave to go to work, but I still had a lot to figure out and delegate, especially if I was taking Wednesday and Thursday off to care for Terra when she started her chemotherapy. Terra said she understood, and I think she did. But I also knew that my work was part of where our problems started. I felt like I was on a tightrope balancing enough time at work and home to keep either of them from falling apart.
I was arranging for ways I could work from home if needed when Kyle entered my office.
“Joe Sisler is wanting to talk to you,” he said of the head of a Silicon Valley tech company.
“Oh?” I looked up and then waved him into my office.
“He’s one of two that is wondering if you might be willing to sell.”
I sat back in my chair. “Why all the interest now?” I wondered how much of our work was getting out before it was ready. Who was leaking information? It was one more thing to add to my list of concerns, that I’d need to trust someone to handle.
“Joe has shown interest in the past,” Kyle said sitting in the chair near my desk.
It was true. His company made an offer early on. It had been a good, generous officer that Terra and I had been tempted to take. But at the time we were new in the business, with so many goals yet to achieve, so we’d turned him down. In retrospect, maybe we should have taken the offer. Maybe we wouldn’t have had marital issues if we had.