“Did you think we were going to keep her from calling you?” she said tersely.
“No.” I could only guess she found the phone I’d given Maisie.
“Then why give her a cell phone, Dylan? She’s five years old. She doesn’t need a phone.”
I sighed. I’d pissed off the two women in my life. I wondered if Maisie was mad at me too. “She’s never gone away with you, Veronica. She hasn’t seen you for nearly a year and now you’re taking her away from her home. I thought having a phone would ease her apprehension about it.”
“I’m her mother, Dylan. What does she have to be scared about?”
“She doesn’t know you, Veronica!” I pulled the phone away from my ear and swore. When I put it back up, I worked to bring my tone back to normal. “A year is a long time for a kid her age.”
“You think I’m a bad mother?”
I thought she was a selfish mother. She was attentive when she was around, but she wasn’t around a lot.
“You’re a good mother when you’re with her.”
“So, I’m supposed to throw away all my dreams?”
“Come on, Veronica. You’ve lived your dreams for the last few years. I’ve never stopped you. You wanted out, you got out. But if you think I’m going to say it’s okay that you’ve chosen money and fame and yourself over your child, you don’t know me at all. You’re a mother, for Christ's sake, and you can’t be bothered to see her but a few times a year. You fucking missed her birthday …” I stopped as I rea
lized I was getting pissed again.
“I sent her—”
“It was three weeks late. And you didn’t call.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Look, I’m glad you’re back. I’m glad if you mean what you say and that you’re settling down and want to be more involved. But I’m not going to feel guilty about wanting to make my daughter feel more secure as I send her off with her mother, who she’s never spent time alone with without me around.”
“Why are you being such a dick?”
“You’re the one who called pissed off that I’d given her a way to talk to me.” I put my plate with my half-eaten sandwich in the sink.
“I’d have let her call you, which by the way she hasn’t asked to do. She’s having a perfectly lovely time.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” I pulled my scotch from the top cupboard over the fridge. If ever there was a night to get drunk, this was it. I poured a shot and downed it.
“Are you? I bet you’d be happy if I just left her to you forever.”
She was right. But I didn’t say that. What I wanted didn’t matter. What was best for Maisie was what was important. “I want Maisie to be happy. She wants a mother, Veronica. She talks about it more and more.”
She was quiet again. “I’m not a bad person, Dylan.” Her voice was quieter. The heat of the tone was gone.
“I never said you were. And giving her the phone wasn’t about you or thinking you’re a bad person. The phone was to ease Maisie’s mind … and mine, I suppose. This is hard for me, too. I’ve never been away from her like this. Ever.” I hoped she’d have some sympathy for me.
“I guess that makes you a better person than me,” she snapped.
To be honest, yeah, I thought that. “This isn’t a contest. You did what you had to do and I did what I had to do. I like my life.” Mostly. “You wanted more than I could give. I’ve accepted that. I’m perfectly happy in my career and being Maisie’s father. That doesn’t make me better or worse. It is what it is. I only said that because I hoped you’d understand where I was coming from.” Okay, so that last comment was a passive aggressive dig, but Jesus, it would be nice for once if she could think of someone else.
“Well, you’re going to have to get used to it, because I plan to spend more time with her.”
“Good.” But my gut tightened at the idea of being away from Maisie. I was an asshole for thinking it, but I wished to God Veronica’d find being a mother as distasteful as she had three years ago and leave again.
“Is that my daddy?” I heard Maisie say in the background. My heart leapt to my throat and the need to hug my daughter nearly brought me to my knees.
“Yes, sweetie. Do you want to say hello?” Veronica asked her.
“Yes.”
“She just finished taking a bath and wants to talk to you.”