What was that going to look like? Would he say hi and be cordial or was he going look at me like he had never met me before? I wondered idly whether Easton knew that Toby and I had had sex. Was he the kind to kiss and tell?
Missy started giving me the details. I didn't have that much to do since the resort we were staying at had done most of the heavy lifting, including booking a remote cabin in the mountains for us to stage the photo shoot. Our role was simply to go there ahead of Easton and Toby with the wardrobe, they would do the photoshoot, and then we would make our way back to the resort.
“It’s basically a holiday,” Missy said. “The shoot is going to take one day, two days at the absolute longest, and the rest of the time we spend at the resort.” I did a Google search on the resort and looked at their accommodations. It was nice, very far out of my usual budget, but I wasn't paying. Every private room had a hot tub and they were decorated in a style that was both luxurious yet cozy.
I couldn’t remember the last time that I went on a vacation. My previous salary and working hours just didn't allow it and it was never a priority to treat myself in the past. I sent up a quick thank you to whoever had orchestrated me meeting Missy because I never would have gotten this opportunity in the past.
She was right, this was basically a vacation, the best I was likely to ever have in my life. Was I really about to let Toby, a random hookup from a little while ago ruined that for me? He was not allowed to have that kind of power in my life. I deserved this. While I was out there, cozy, steeping like a teabag in the private hot tub in my room, he would be the furthest thing from my mind, definitely.
Oh my gosh, had I really had second thoughts about going on a free vacation to Colorado just because Toby would be there? I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe had briefly considered depriving myself in that way just because of the threat of a little awkwardness. Fuck that. If it was going to be awkward then so be it. I could deal with awkward when I was at a five-star resort getting treated like royalty.
We got started on wardrobe choices for the two men. It was barely working, since both of the men were very attractive. They were tall, muscular, and had proportions that made every type of clothing look good. I could already imagine Toby in some of the pieces. While Easton was a little bit ginger, Toby’s features were dark. Both his hair and eyes were almost black and he had the type of skin that tanned well.
God, getting over this guy wasn’t going to be easy, was it?
That didn't matter, I wasn't going to lose out on this vacation just because of him. I couldn’t be lonely when I was sipping champagne that was more expensive than my rent.
I couldn’t wait.
3
Toby
Traveling alone wasn’t the worst thing in the world; I didn't know why I was in such a bad mood about it.
As I thought that, I looked around the cabin of the plane. It was bigger when it was empty. I wasn't truly alone of course because there were people flying and staffing the aircraft, but my usual travel partner, Easton was absent. He had chosen to come up to Colorado a little bit later with Missy and their friends. I was fairly close with the group and on various occasions, I had joined their get-togethers.
I wasn't comfortable referring to them as my friends yet, even though they had been nothing short of welcoming. When he told me I wasn’t going to tell him no, of course not. I could have waited and gone with them too, I knew he wouldn’t have minded but that was off the table too. I felt like a third wheel when I was with them.
Everyone was coupled up, and not just regular couples, real couples. Endgame couples. Brenna and Charles had kids, Niall and Eddy too, and Easton and Missy were probably next. They were engaged, and you know, kids were the natural progression from that point. Easton had been spending a lot more time with the group lately and had invited them up to Colorado with us. If it was just us, we would have completed the trip in a couple of days, in and out, no fuss. With the group, it had turned into more
of a vacation.
I didn't care. The more the merrier, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of jealousy. Aside from being in the Army, I had never had a larger group of friends. Besides Easton and a couple more casual acquaintances, that was pretty much where the list ended. I had never had a problem with that, but Easton spending a lot more time with them on top of being engaged had made me reconsider some things.
He always invited me to hang out when the group of them met but I said no more than I said yes because like I said, they were all happy with their other halves. I often invited a date when we would meet, but it wasn't the same because the next time they saw me, it was with a different woman. They never really mentioned it but I knew that they noticed, and I knew that they judged, especially the women.
I wasn't doing anything wrong so I had no reason to feel shame, but it still didn't feel good. I had seen the change in Easton since he and Missy had become more stable. That was it, the stability. I felt like he was just better all-round. Like he had optimized all his systems and it was just operating at a higher level ever since she became a constant part of his life.
So yeah, I was a little jealous, but not enough to try and monopolize Easton's life as if he was still single. I had to take a step back and that was my fault if anything. Get a damn fiancée if you don’t like it. It was fine that he had other priorities and other friends, he never let work take a backseat and that was what was important.
Maybe this was a sign, the encouragement I needed to go ahead and try to make some more friends in York City. Might as well get a girlfriend so I wasn’t introducing more random models whenever the group saw me. Since the bulk of my social interactions were mindless hookups with a rotating roster of women, and I hadn't been doing that lately, I hadn't been getting much.
Here was a thought; how about you actually go on honest dates with a woman you intend to spend more than three hours with, get to know them, make a commitment to them, date about one to three years, propose, and then get married?
Yeah, wasn't going to happen.
My insecurities and hang-ups around love and marriage were getting in the way of me being happy for my best friend. She was great for him and he was the happiest that he had been in the time that I'd known him. A little bit before the flight, when he called me to tell me he'd be coming later, he confided in me that he had to take Missy to the hospital. Of course, I was worried so I asked what the problem was and he told me that there was none. She had however missed her period though so they were waiting to find out whether or not she was pregnant.
I knew what the right thing to say in the situation was. When somebody told you that they were expecting a baby with a person that they loved most in this world, you told them congratulations, and I had. I congratulated him because she was his fiancée. Even if it wasn’t exactly planned, it would have likely happened sooner or later.
Sometimes pregnancy was a good thing. When you did it with someone you loved, you could actually look forward to it. Not everyone was filled with terror at the thought since they only had hookups.
I couldn't help feeling a little bit scared on Easton's behalf. He was so happy and so different these days, so dedicated to this new life with Missy, which just made me scared of what would happen to him if it all fell apart.
That was the thing, there was a chance that Missy wouldn't be in his life forever, but no matter how many women ran through his life, I would always be there as his friend. I would be the one who got to see him crumble and then be the one who helped him rebuild something out of the rubble.
I probably was out of line making those judgments about Missy, especially since Easton had given her his stamp of approval, but I couldn't help worrying about him. I had seen the worst of what a broken heart could do. Easton hadn’t ended up as a statistic after the Army, I didn’t want to see him go down just because he gave his heart to the wrong woman.