“What about the baby?” he asked.
I had thought about how I was going to break the news to him in a million different ways. Now that I was finally going to do it, I wasn't even making an announcement, he was the one asking me.
“How, did you know that?”
“How did I know that? You told me. I got a message from you.” Wait, what was he talking about?
“A message?”
“Yeah. It was a voicemail message. You were yelling at me about how the baby wasn't mine and you wanted me to stay away from you.” I was going to jump in and defend myself, when I realized that he was telling the truth.
“A voicemail message? That wasn't a voicemail message from me Toby. It was a voice recording. Paul recorded me saying that stuff, against my will by the way, and made sure that you heard it somehow.”
“You are pregnant though right?”
“I am and before you ask, yes it is your child. I haven't had sex with Paul for years. Or anyone else for that matter.”
“He has been back in your life though,” Toby said.
“How do you know that?” I asked. Toby looked sheepish. I had never seen him like that, unsure and not one hundred percent confident about how to move forward.
“I was worried about you and I was suspicious about Paul. When he started sending documents to my office, I had him investigated.”
“You hired a PI?” I asked.
“I did and whatever it is I don’t want to hear it. That’s why I knew where you were and was able to get here on time,” he said. I was angry but I was touched at the same time. Maybe more angry though. It was unnerving that while I thought I was unable to contact him, he had been looking in on me secretly.
“Don’t do it again,” I said.
“If I can know where you are and not be afraid that I won’t have contact with you, done. I won’t have to.”
“I’ve been trying to contact you, I haven’t been avoiding you. Paul was getting in the way of both of us,” I said.
“What I said still stands. You’re pregnant.”
“I’m also an adult. I can take care of myself.”
“Is that what you want?” he asked. No. I didn't even have to think about it. I had had this conversation with Paul when he was forcing himself into my life. I wanted to go through this entire experience with a partner, with Toby, in particular. He was the father of my child, to begin with, but I loved him too.
He was offering me what I wanted. Right now was not the time to let my pride get in the way.
“Thank you for coming.”
“He wouldn't have been able to keep me away.” His hand was making small comforting movements on my back.
“I feel like I should apologize about Paul.”
“Why? Were you in on it too?”
“No, but that was what he wanted. When he popped back up in my life, it was more of an annoyance than anything else. I never could have guessed what he actually had planned.”
“What was that?”
“He knew who you were. He wanted me to collaborate with him to try to get money out of you because of the pregnancy. He thought he would be able to blackmail you. I thought he was crazy. I mean, he is crazy.”
“I should thank you for defending me then.”
“Don't. I should have just done it.” He laughed and pulled me in closer to him. “I wanted to tell you about the baby. I was going to tell you about the baby, honestly. I don't know what that's worth since it took me so long and you found out on your own anyway, but I was. I didn't want to lie to you and I felt like I owed it to you, I was just scared because of how messy things were between us. Add Paul to the mix and... it’s not an excuse. I should have said something sooner.”