“Lauren, I know you're being polite but this morning keep it,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. She didn't say anything after that, taking my instruction. I had to give her a raise or something; that was out of line. She wasn't doing anything wrong, I was just in a bad mood and it wasn't even her fault.
She practically ran when the elevator stopped and the doors opened. I walked out and made my way to my office.
I noticed our employees physically move out of my way and lower their gazes as I walked by. If they were trying to hide it, they weren't doing a very good job. I wasn't fun to be around at the moment and I understood that at this moment there was little that I could do about it.
I walked into my office and sat down. Getting on the phone with our receptionist, I asked her what was on for today. I was going to try again. This time, unlike all the days before since coming back from Colorado, I was going to get so lost in my work that I forgot to think about her.
Right. This time it was going to work.
Someone knocked at my door before throwing it open. Easton. He was the only one who would do that, especially given the circumstances.
“I'm busy,” I said, without even looking up.
“Hey, are you going to do something about this?” he asked. I sighed, forced to pay attention to him.
“Do something about what?”
“You've been a mess ever since we came back from Colorado.”
“I'm dealing with some stuff. It will pass.”
“Are you sure? Because it's been weeks and still nothing.” He walked towards my desk. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask whatever you want. That doesn't mean that you're going to get an answer but try your luck.”
“What happened in the cabin when you and Maggie were trapped?” he asked.
“We waited for someone to rescue us, why?” I said. It was too fast; obvious guilt because I wasn’t being totally honest.
“Because I have a feeling that whatever happened in there is the reason why you're like this right now.” He wasn't wrong but I didn't want to admit it.
“I told you, it will pass. Give me like a week or something.”
“Okay, and during this week you're going to continue being trash at our meetings and make everybody around you uncomfortable. Look, you called me out when I was messed up over what happened with Missy and I think it's only fair that I return the favor.”
“This isn't about her.”
“You're right, it's about you. What the hell happened that messed you up so much?” We had kind of had this conversation before, but only kind of. I glossed over the details and I didn't know how much he knew. I didn’t know if he could help me but there was only one way to find out.
“To be honest, it didn't start at the cabin. It started before that, the night that you proposed to Missy the two of us hooked up. It was only supposed to be a one-time thing. We agreed that we were never going to do it again, but we ended up in the cabin together and one thing led to another.”
“So you two have been dating and you broke up?”
“No dating. That was off the table from the start and that's probably why all this went downhill. We agreed to a no-strings-attached deal but I guess one of us wasn't being honest.”
“Have you spoken to her? It sounds like you two had something, and now you want to take it seriously. Telling her sounds like an easy fix.”
“No, she said that she didn't want a relationship and I agreed to those terms.”
“You were lying and maybe she was too. Why don't you talk to her?”
“Easton, I don't need her to reject me twice. Even if it doesn't happen immediately, it's going to happen down the line. Both of us are just going to end up hurt so I might as well nip it in the bud now.”
“I think you're going to regret this.”
“What's my alternative? Tell her so that what can happen? We get together, have a relationship that eventually ends when I could have cut my losses early.” Easton was taken aback.
“If that's the attitude you have then maybe you shouldn't. Nobody goes into a relationship thinking about the end. They think about the intimacy, the support, the love that they're going to get, and also give to the other person.”