“I know you are Missy, that wasn't why I was asking. I guess I'm just going a little stir-crazy.” This would have been a perfect time to admit to her everything that had happened with Toby so far, but I found myself hesitating. I didn't want to have the conversation on the phone, but at the same time, I felt a little bit of fear over what she would say to me. She didn't know about the one-night stand which was bad enough, so anything else would be absolutely salacious.
I had a feeling that I could trust her not to judge me even though judgment, very harsh and very swift was what I deserved. I was fooling around in ways that I knew I was going to regret, for what? A little bit of satisfaction? An orgasm or two here and there?
Wasn’t worth it.
I could hear Missy being empathetic while telling me off at the same time in her British accent.
“I'll have updates for you whenever they're ready.”
I thanked her again and then ended the call.
Walking back into the kitchen, I felt like I was in trouble with my parents and was about to go and get my punishment. These levels of stress had to be hazardous to my health. This was a shocking new low and I was ashamed to have reached it. Toby was spooning scrambled eggs onto a couple of plates. He ignored me so I thought about making the first move.
“I just got off the phone with Missy.” He grunted and didn't look up. I cleared my throat.
“She said that they're doing all that they can, and they already have some plows heading out here, but since the snow keeps falling, they're kind of fighting a losing battle and nothing can really happen until tomorrow.”
He still said nothing, grabbing his plate and sitting down to eat.
Well.
I wasn't sure what I had been expecting after last night, but the silent treatment surely was not it. If he wanted to be angry at someone, it needed to be whoever was in charge of making snow fall down from the sky, not me.
I didn't want to be here anymore than he did and you know what? We probably could have made it down off this mountain before the snow got this bad if he fucking tried. The day the blizzard started, we could have probably gotten off the mountain if he stayed on the road instead of chickening out.
I grabbed my plate and went to the living room to eat.
I was supposed to be on vacation. We were working, of course, but I was supposed to be at a luxury resort for the first time in my life, enjoying things I couldn’t ordinarily afford and being pampered. How was I supposed to know that he would have the same idea as I had, coming out here to the cabin instead of going straight to the resort? I knew at this point that it had been a bad idea, but this punishment was starting to feel excessive.
I stood at the glass doors looking outside as I ate. The snow was actually very beautiful, it was a shame it was the one thing in my life that was turning everything upside down right now.
I started walking back to the kitchen with my empty plate when I heard a voice. Toby, he was on the phone. Whoever was on the other side of the line was making him very upset since he was on the brink of yelling. I slowed down and stopped right before I walked in.
“I’m asking you to fly in, not drive. Helicopters don’t need the road,” he was saying. He wanted to get a helicopter out here. Good. What good was his wealth if he couldn’t throw his weight around to get stuff done?
“How long is it going to take?” he asked. “I said, how long is it going to take?”
I flinched. He was mad mad. I started feeling a little awkward. This was bad but was it that bad? We were technically comfortable, and I wanted to be gone as much as he did but… was this about me?
“What do you mean three to four days? How long does it take to move some damn snow?” he demanded.
Got it, loud and clear. He couldn’t wait to be gone and it was killing him being here with me. that was why I got the silent treatment earlier. He couldn’t even bear to look at me. I didn’t know what to do, go in there to put my dishes away or leave him alone. I started backing away.
“I said, how much do you want? How much is it going to take to get my results today? I want the chopper out here by this afternoon. How much is it going to take?” I heard him ask as I rounded back into the living room.
Did this even count as a rejection? Nothing was going on between us in the first place, what did it matter? I didn’t particularly like him either and I wanted out too. This way, we’d both get what we wanted. I felt my chest tighten and I couldn’t see straight anymore. Oh my god, were those tears? Ew, gross, I could not cry over this. I couldn’t. I was not going to cry over something a one night stand from weeks ago thought about me.
Why did it hurt so much though? It didn’t help that this was coming right off of us having sex last night. He was cold as ice after that too so I should have seen something like this coming.
This was my fault. This was me taking things personally because I was letting myself go. I was taking the sex too seriously when letting it happen was a mistake in the first place. This was my fault and I could hardly feel bad about it now. For the rest of our time here, I had to avoid him. It was what he wanted and it was going to be what was best. Avoiding him until our rescue came through.
11
Toby
I held the phone to my ear and waited for our assistant at the office to pick up. Earlier I had told him to get in contact with people who could fly us out of here and I needed an update. His work was usually more important than getting me out of the snow but I was done. There was no way I could survive another day of this.
He picked up.