We stood side-by-side, looking at the bed like it was likely to get up and walk away. The awkwardness was back. If it wasn’t pleasant, at least it was familiar.
Why had I agreed to come up here again?
Because she was spooked after watching a bad horror movie. Yeah, that was the reason… nothing else.
Seriously.
She wasn’t just here because she wanted a way to get me in the bed with her. I had been trying to avoid this but I could have suggested it, to begin with. Instead I opted to go downstairs because I knew how uncomfortable I would have been trying to sleep while fighting off thoughts of being with her.
It wasn’t like I was getting that much sleep downstairs. It wasn’t cold, it wasn’t uncomfortable, I just couldn’t sleep. I was distracted and I was mad. I didn’t want to be here and there were layers to that sentiment. I didn’t like feeling trapped, I didn’t like having to wait for someone else to get me out of here and I didn’t like who my roommate was.
We had talked it out… a little at least but the resolution still wasn’t satisfactory.
“I’ll go to the bathroom,” I said, breaking the silence. I went into the room and sighed, facing my reflection. The light from the candles cast weird shadows over my face making me look like something out of the horror movie we had watched earlier. The supposed culprit for Maggie’s discomfort sleeping alone.
I wasn’t saying she was lying. I was being cynical but I didn’t believe her all the way. Who actually got spooked watching shitty movies like those?
Whatever.
I turned the faucet on and cupped my hands under the stream. I splashed it on my face. I waited a little bit then walked into the bedroom. She had arranged the bed into two distinct sides, hers and mine with separate pillows and covers. She was still awake as I got into my side.
“Goodnight,” I said.
“Goodnight.”
Some time passed. I stared up at the ceiling and some more time passed. I couldn’t sleep downstairs and I couldn’t do it here either.
I wasn't sure how long I had been up here, but I was going to ask to estimate ten maybe twenty minutes had passed. We had set up our bed and said goodnight and I thought that was going to be it. Not that the couch downstairs was more or less comfortable, since I hadn't been able to get to sleep there, but up here, I was about ready to call it a day and stop trying.
This whole trip had been full of firsts but at no point in my life did I see myself sleeping in the same bed platonically with a woman that I had had a one-night stand with. It wasn't part of my M.O and just seemed like a bad idea in general.
Yeah, bad idea, when I was the one who had suggested it.
We were as far apart from each other as possible in the large bed, but that didn't stop me from being intensely aware of her. Despite the distance and the fact that she was physically too far away for me to feel her, I still did.
It was not lost on me that this was the fulfillment of the fantasies I had been having about her since our night together. I just wanted to be with her again, have that same kind of access to her that I had been given the night we had sex and technically I did, even though I didn’t.
We were together, she was right there next to me, but we were not supposed to do anything about it. I respected that, but then we were together in the same bed. It was going to be a little bit hard, not to mention creepy if I rubbed one out thinking about her.
I had never been in this situation before and I resented it a little bit. The fact that I had nobody to blame but myself made it worse. I rolled onto my side, the side where she wasn't, and closed my eyes to force myself to sleep. Wasn't that weird? In order to fall asleep, first, you had to pretend to be asleep.
My mind meandered aimlessly from thought to thought until I got too tired to try and open my eyes again.
It was so warm. The snow was coming down, but I couldn't feel it. I really should have been feeling it, since I was naked. It was this nice, soft, drift of tiny, cute snowflakes, not like what was actually coming down outside.
“What are you looking at?”
“Huh?”
She was sitting there, a few feet ahead of me in a giant, bubbling hot tub. That meant she was… oh yeah, she definitely was. I could tell even though the water covered her breasts. I could make out those light pink nipples under the water. Those breasts were award-winning, top of the line. Some of the best I had ever seen.
“I said, what are you looking at? Are you just going to stand there?”
Maggie, naked and soaking wet in a hot tub wanted me to join her, hell yeah, I was going in. The snow crunched under my feet as I went over to the hot tub and stepped inside.
“That’s better, isn’t it?” she cooed, sliding up to me.
It was more than better, it felt like paradise. I didn't wait. I kissed her. She was soft and receptive which is how I knew that it wasn't real. The real Maggie would never let me see her naked again, not on purpose anyway. She had gotten everything she wanted from me that night and she was done. It wasn’t fair man. What I would give for one more night, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I didn't care though, if I could have her like this while I was dreaming, then I was going to be doing a lot more sleeping.