She turned away from me and sighed.
Damn, was that how it was? I didn’t want to be up here with her either, so I felt like a hypocrite seeing her reaction. I knew she didn’t like me but one night, at the most two nights, stuck up here with me and that was her reaction?
Now, I knew we weren't friends, we were far from friends, but I didn't think she hated me. I didn’t hate her, I just hated the way she made me feel. I hated that it didn’t matter what I wanted to do with her since she only offered me one night. I hated that that was all I was getting of her while I had to watch her from a distance that I could so easily close.
She sure hadn’t hated me that night. In the few hours that we had been here together, I had managed not to think too much about our night together. All this time that had passed between us since that night and I didn't know how she felt about it.
I had an idea now at least. She would have rather died trying to get off this mountain than spend a couple of days in a fully furnished and comfortable cabin with me that was big enough for us to avoid each other anyway. I didn't know what was wrong with me.
It shouldn’t have been a shock. She had told me that night that what we were doing was a one-night-only type of deal. She didn't want anything else from me, not another night, not a real date where I took her out to dinner, not even my phone number so we could stay in touch.
I wasn't even sure that she knew what my last name was and it was strange that it made me feel so bad. It was all supposed to end that night but here we were. I felt kind of dumb. I had been completely hung up over her for days, weeks and she couldn’t have cared less. Seeing her again and being able to spend this time with her should have been something that I looked forward to, but she preferred hypothermia to a couple of nights in the same cabin as me.
I didn't get rejected often, was this what it felt like? It sucked. I hated it. When I got it during work, it didn’t matter to me because I could always make a better product. In my personal life, what was I supposed to fix when someone didn’t want me? It wasn’t clear or easy, something I could logically talk through then put together an action plan for.
I looked over at her. She was shivering. She had a coat on, but she wasn't dressed for this type of weather. Honestly, neither was I. Neither of us expected it. It seemed like we were stuck though so we were going to have to at the very least cooperate if nothing else.
“Come on, we should go back.” We gathered the bags and hustled back to the cabin. The short walk from the car to the cabin left both of us pretty wet and frozen. Once inside, I helped Maggie out of her coat.
“How about you do the fireplace and I look for supplies,” I said. It wasn't a suggestion. We were sharing the same space and even though the cabin was large, the more room we got to keep between us the better. With our wet shoes and coats hanging in the entryway, I went to the kitchen.
Whoever came here ahead of us knew that there were going to be people in the cabin and thankfully there were supplies. There was a good amount of dry food, and other more perishable stuff like bread, deli meat, milk, and cheese. Fresh fruit and vegetables were limited but there was a good selection of canned produce too. Water wouldn’t be an issue either. If we were careful, the food could last us about a week, but I wasn't sure we would need it to last that long. I was hoping we wouldn’t. I boiled some water and started making a couple of cups of coffee to warm us both up. Maggie walked into the kitchen as I was rifling through the cabinets.
“What are you doing?”
“I'm trying to see what we have in here.”
“There's food. I checked earlier. Water shouldn't be a problem either.”
“I know. I'm looking for flashlights, batteries, candles, things like that.”
“What for?”
“Just in case the power goes out, we're going to need them.”
“That isn't going to happen, is it?” she asked. I sighed and got up to my feet.
“It's better to have and not need them than to need and not have them.” She stood there watching me and I watched her. Neither of us spoke for a few moments and nothing significant seem to pass in the air between us. I felt the need to fill it though. I felt this weird urge to confess to her how much she had been on my mind for the last several weeks.
And what would she even do if she knew that information?
She had been clear when she told me that she wasn't interested in me in that way. This was so strange. I was never speechless in front of women. I always knew what to do. It sounded bad but I always had the upper hand. After my encounters, it was the women who were left wanting more and not me.
I cleared my throat and looked down.
“I'll go check the garage.”
I had to walk past her to get to the door that led to the garage. I pretended not to notice her following me there too.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I finally located the light switch, but the garage was just as clean and well-maintained as the rest of the cabin. There was a shelf along one wall with boxes and other paraphernalia. I started searching.
In one of them was a couple of lanterns and lined up along the wall were some propane tanks. A little more searching unearthed a box of candles, a little more and I found some flashlights.
Underneath some boxes was a slightly dusty small generator. It didn't look like it would last very long if we ever needed it, but at least it was there. There seemed to be extra gas, so maybe we'd be able to get a few hours of use out of it.
I studiously ignored Maggie's gaze on me.
“So?” she asked.