“It was my mistake.”
“How much did they give you for it?”
“Just ten thousand for a thirty-thousand-pound piece.”
“They shouldn’t have sold it to you for that much. That’s robbery.”
“It’s a little late for that now,” I said.
“Well, I can’t give you that much just now, but I can go to the bank in the morning.”
“Thank you so much. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t absolutely need it.”
“I know. Don’t worry about it, really. I’m here for you, whatever you need.” She hugged me. Thank god for her, truly. I didn’t know what I would do without her. Save for Prue and my son, she was all that I had. I was no longer in contact with my family. They didn’t bother checking up on me and the feeling was mutual.
The friends and acquaintances that I had made with Russell had all fallen away when he had died. We had had such an enduring friendship that she felt like family. She loved and supported me more than my blood relatives ever had, that was for sure. I felt like I was using her in this scenario. She would get her money back with interest as soon as I could afford to give it to her. It was all my fault that I was in this mess but without her, things would be a million times messier.
“Should we go have dinner?” she asked. We went downstairs to a feast of a dinner waiting for us in the dining room. If I spent much more time here, I would get spoiled. I wasn’t allowed to indulge the way Missy did anymore and it always felt a little sinful when it happened. The table was spread with a roast with all the trimmings. Missy's chef was French-trained and could cook anything, but it was a comforting treat that we were going to have some classic home cooking. It almost felt like we were back in school again. Well, except for the wine we could drink now. Missy popped open a beautiful red and we had it alongside our dinner.
“You should really come down to London more often. I miss having you around here. That's the only time I can justify spreads like this,” she said motioning to the table.
“I would suggest that you come to Belshire, but you know how it is.”
“Hm, let's not talk about that tonight,” she said. The next day I would be catching a train back to Belshire. I loved that I was going to be able to see my son again but the little trips I took to spend time with Missy were honestly a highlight whenever I got to have them. At some point, I would have to think about moving. Isolation in Belshire did me no good. It wasn't that Russell had been the greatest company, he certainly hadn’t been, but since he was gone, my loneliness was magnified that much more. I never really formed a network of friends living in Belshire. Everyone simply knew me as Russell's wife. When I tried to make friends, I felt like they were judging me. I was the poor, clueless woman married to the cheating drunk. It got in the way of trusting people enough to let them in. Maybe moving away finally would give me that fresh start that I wanted and deserved.
The wine flowed and I started to feel a little tipsy.
“So, are you finally telling me about Niall?”
“What about him?”
“What's going on between the two of you?”
“It's complicated.”
“Well, do you like him?” Missy asked.
“Of course, I like him. He's a decent guy, and you've seen him, he isn't bad to look at.”
“So, you’re together or is it something else?”
“It's just that we have a history.”
“Oh, do you now? What kind?”
Missy did not know about the night when Russell sold me in a card game. I bit my lip, thinking about coming clean about it. It was one of my deepest and darkest embarrassments. The fact that Russell had given me to another man wasn't even the worst part, but rather the fact that my son had been conceived that night. And then it only got worse; I had lived for five years with Russell lying about the paternity of my son. Nobody knew, not even Prue. Even his birth documents named Russell as his real father.
Doing it, I never thought about the day when the lies would catch up to me. I just made the decision that I wasn’t telling anyone and the way things were with Russell, the secret was never in any danger of getting out. Frankly, I never counted on ever seeing Niall again and I surely never counted on Russell dying on me. Now, things were more complicated than I could have ever anticipated, and I was running myself ragged trying to maintain things the way they were. Things could never go back to the way they were though, could they? I looked at the wine in my glass, swishing it around.
“It's complicated,” I said again.
“Try me,” Missy said.
“He is Riley's father.”
“What?” Missy whispered, jaw slackening. That felt surprisingly good, finally getting it out. Why stop there?
“Yeah. Niall and I slept together many years ago and I got pregnant from it.”