I groaned, running my hands over my wet hair. Was that it? “I’m not engaged, Eddy.”
“You need to tell Lisbeth Lane that, then. I don’t know how you two do things, telling two totally contradictory stories at the same time.”
This wasn’t about to ruin my life. I never anticipated that it would be so hard to detach myself from my father’s hair-brained plan to marry me off to Lisbeth Lane. It was supposed to be over and done with at Dirk’s party but now, here we were. Here was my father’s meddling ruining things with Eddy when they hadn’t even had a chance to take off. I had to tell her. It was over. I had to be open with her. She needed to know. Everything.
“How do I say this,” I started. She was looking at me expectantly. “I don’t live here. I live in New York. I moved years ago and never looked back. My family is rich, aristocracy. They have expectations of me. I’ve run from them all my life but this time I couldn’t. My father called me home, making me think it was an emergency of sorts. I came over and what he had to tell me was he has a debt he has to settle with another family; the Lanes. Lisbeth’s family. I don’t know the details of how Lisbeth and I got roped into the arrangement but they arranged a marriage between us, had it in the cards since we were both children. Now I guess it’s time to make good on it and they want us to get married.”
“So, you are engaged,” she said.
“No. It isn’t something I agreed to. It was completely planned for us. Neither of us knew that it was going to happen until days ago. He wants me to marry Lisbeth because he owes her family a favor. The engagement is not valid.”
“How would Lisbeth feel hearing you saying all this? She seemed very much on board with being attached to you, the last time I checked,” she said. She was jealous but there was something else there. She was indignant. She felt like Lisbeth was a victim in this too and I was messing about with her feelings.
“Lisbeth and I are yet to have a proper discussion regarding this, but I have no intention of giving her false hope. Nothing will come of this forced engagement.”
“Have you told your father that you have no plans of going through with his plan?”
“Yes, but he thinks he can make me do it. It’s been like this my whole life. My parents basically ignored me my entire childhood. I was their son when I fell in line and did things their way but otherwise, they always had something better to do. They were focused on shaping me into their perfect heir. That was all that was important to them. They wanted me to take over for them when the time was right but I wanted no part of it. Why would I want to inherit the institution that completely robbed me of my childhood?”
She looked at me. It was hard to tell what she was thinking but it felt good telling her what was going on with me. I never really talked about it with anyone, to be honest. I wasn’t close enough to that many people to feel comfortable showing this much vulnerability. If I was going to be honest with anyone, it might as well be her. I felt so close to her already. If anyone was going to trust me, I wanted it to be her.
“Lisbeth still seems to think you’re marrying her.”
“I don’t know what they told her, but they set up the meeting at the party. My father sent me there to meet her. I wanted to tell her that I knew about the arrangement and kindly turn her down. I didn’t really get around to doing it before she kissed me. I think you were there for that part.”
She nodded. “That’s quite a story.”
“It’s true.”
“I… I’m sorry. I don’t envy your situation.”
She didn’t look or sound convinced. “Eddy, all this right now is messy, but I can tell you one thing for sure. I do not want to marry Lisbeth. I haven’t misled her on my feelings. I’m seeing her when I get back to London and all of this is getting straightened out.”
“You should make that clear to her.”
“I am. I will.”
She still didn’t look as convinced as I wanted her to but she gave me a small nod. “I think we have more in common than I thought.”
“Are you also being forced into an arranged marriage by your parents?”
She smiled wryly. “It already happened. The situation with Russell was a little different but my parents pushed for the marriage when they found out that there was a single, titled gentleman looking for a wife. I didn’t want it, but I wasn’t able to say no. I wish I could do what you’re doing now. Things would have ended up differently.”
“It wasn’t that bad, surely,” I said, then wondered whether I should have taken that back. The man did sell her in a card game and the people of the town seemed well in the know when it came to his indiscretions. She stayed though. If she stayed for five years, there had to have been a silver lining somewhere. I was wishing for it because the thought of her suffering for five years was too much for me. “You got to be a Baroness and come live here, didn’t you?”
She laughed. “Every young woman’s dream. I thought I could learn to love it. He was handsome and I was young, and I thought I could make myself want it eventually. It never worked.”
“It wasn’t all bad, was it?”
“He was a gambler and an alcoholic and nothing I did ever made him stop.”
“He didn’t deserve you. I’m sorry you went through that.”
“Thank you,” she said, smiling. She had suffered so much during her marriage, more than I could imagine. I was wrong. There had been no silver lining. She had endured five years of hell with him, and with a small child at home. My heart went out to her. A droplet of water from her hair ran down her temple. I brushed it away with my thumb. She looked up at me. I reached for her with my other arm and pulled her in.
“You deserved so much better than him. You still do.”
“He’s dead now. It’s fine,” she said, smiling, a genuine smile that lit up her face. I was done holding back. I kissed her.