“So am I,” I said, humoring her.
“I wore my best dress. Isn't it lovely?” she said, spinning, showing me her dress. For fuck’s sake. I forced a smile.
“You look lovely.” She smiled. “Lisbeth, the two of us…”
She cut me off. One minute, she was showing me her dress, the next her arms were around my neck and her mouth plastered to mine.
8
Edwina
“What was that, Eddy?”
“What? Oh, sorry.” I had to just been telling her and an acquaintance a story about boarding school when something caught my attention. She was looking at me expectantly.
“Is everything all right?” Missy asked me, sensing my anxiety right away. No, nothing was okay. I scanned the crowd again. He was gone. I knew that I saw him though. I had to come to this party for Missy's crush from our school days and guess who else was in attendance. I thought I saw someone that looked like him walking out of the French doors to the garden.
“Eddy?” Missy asked me again. The concern in her eyes was clear. What's going on, she asked me silently.
“So sorry, could you guys just excuse me for a minute?” I started walking away before they told me that it was okay for me to go. My heart was pounding, and my legs seemed to be taking me towards the French doors without my brain's permission. What did I even want? It wasn't like we had any unfinished business. Well, in a way I guess we did. I did leave without saying anything to him last night. That was hardly a slight, but he was allowed to be upset about it. Our relationship was barely that. I was drawn to him though. What if he was upset about the watch? Well, that was mine now that after the game. I didn't have anything to say to him, but I needed to see him.
My body was drawn to him and I wanted to talk to him now that I knew we were in the same space. What I should have done was ignore him at all costs. Still, I walked through the French doors out to the garden. Maybe I was hallucinating and it wasn't even him. Just that thought made me painfully aware of how much I did want to see him.
Where did he go? There were a few people who had come outside to smoke. I paid no attention to them, looking around the manicured lawns. There was a path dotted with lights. My instinct told me to follow it. I walked down the path, for about twenty yards, coming to turn when I saw the back of a man standing in front of me. He wasn't alone. There were a woman's arms wrapped around his neck they were engaged in a passionate embrace. I froze on the spot, shocked for long enough to confirm that the man was Niall. I didn't know who the woman was, but I didn't want to find out. My mouth dried out and I felt like my heart was getting ready to burst its way out of my chest. I turned around to go back to the house and immediately slipped, kicking up some gravel.
“Is someone there?” I heard the woman ask. I said nothing, retreating quickly to the house like they were chasing me. My face was burning. I felt like a peeping tom. It was worse than that. I felt betrayed. I was embarrassed that I had walked up on the couple kissing, but I was even more embarrassed that I had even expected anything of Niall. I don't know, maybe part of me thought he was single. Even if he was single that didn't mean he owed me anything. Come to think of it, that behavior was perfectly acceptable for a single man. It was none of my business. I had ditched him the night before anyway. I didn't want anything from him. There was nothing more to get from him. The ache in my chest still raged and I found myself peering over my shoulder to make sure they weren’t following.
I had to get out of here. I suspected that at any moment I would probably burst into tears, which was an embarrassment I didn't know whether I'd be able to get over. I looked for Missy.
“I have to leave,” I told her when I finally found her, cutting in the rudely into a conversation she was already having. Missy excused herself from her conversation and pulled me away slightly.
“What?”
“I have to get out of here, Missy. We’re leaving.”
“Don't be silly, we just got here. I haven't even talked to Dirk. I want to flirt with him but I'm rubbish at flirting. I need someone with me, and you are my wing woman.” I was shaking my head vigorously throughout her speech. I needed to get out of there. If I had to face Niall, I had no idea what would come out of my mouth or what my body would do, and I didn’t want to know.
“Missy, please.”
“Wait, Shh. Dirk is making an address.” The whole crowd fell silent and turned their attention towards Dirk who was standing on the little stage that the live musicians were performing on. I tried to get Missy's attention again, but she shushed me.
“I never thought I would have a turn out like this for my birthday party. It's the greatest gift any of you could have given me. I want to thank you all for coming, I know that some of you have crossed oceans to be here and that means the world to me. It's a special occasion, my birthday, of course,” he paused for laughter, “but that isn't the only thing that makes today special. Could you come up here please, Jamie?”
A woman in an emerald green gown, presumably Jamie went up and stood next to him on the little stage, taking his hand.
“Today, I asked Jamie to be my wife and she said yes.” The crowd erupted into applause. He dipped her dramatically, planting a kiss on her which prompted whistles and cheers from the audience. Oh, dear. Well, that was a development I wasn't expecting. I looked over at Missy. She was staring at the pair open-mouthed. I grabbed her hand to get her attention. She looked over at me slowly.
“Okay. We can go.” I hated how defeated she sounded, and that this was what it took to get her to agree to finally leave, but she was my ride here and I really needed to leave. It was sad, but now we had something in common. Both of us had come to this party and both of us had been slighted by the men we fancied. There was ice cream and champagne at her place; we could fix this when we got home but we needed to get there first. We were about to leave when I felt a hand on my back. I turned around.
“Eddy, I have to talk to you.” I froze seeing Niall. I wasn't sure that he had seen me, but now that he was here, obviously about to offer an explanation I no longer wanted to hear, I was not interested. How did you explain away a kiss? How did you kiss someone by mistake, or kiss someone like that and somehow not mean it? I pulled my mouth into an artificial smile.
“I'm afraid we have nothing to discuss.” His face darkened. He knew exactly what I had seen and why I was upset.
“I can explain.”
“Nobody asked for an explanation, I don't understand why you feel the need to offer one,” I said.
“Eddy, who is this?” Missy asked.