“You better make him suffer,” I said to Iris once he was gone. She laughed and winked at me. Charlie walked back into the room in some basketball shorts and a loose t-shirt. I got up and let him take my mat.
“We’re not doing it together?” he asked.
“No, this is all you. She already put me through the wringer,” I said. He rolled his eyes.
“Okay, what do I do? This shit, right?” he said, sitting with his legs crossed and making an exaggerated meditation chant.
“I think we should try the pigeon pose. Men like you who work at desks have notoriously stiff hips and backs. Let’s open that all up,” she said.
“You ever done yoga before?” I asked him. He groaned as he folded one of his legs in front of him on the mat.
“How hard could it be. It's stretching. It's not even a real workout. No offense,” he added for Iris. She chuckled softly.
“None taken. Now, stretch this other leg behind you, straight.”
“What?” he asked. He was already getting a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He grunted as Iris forced his other leg straight behind him. He held the pose, badly, for about ten seconds before he tumbled to the mat.
I laughed. “I thought you were in shape.”
“I am,” he said, hilariously defensive. “This is… I don’t know. The human body isn’t meant to move like that.”
“Should we move on?” Iris suggested. I thought I was bad at yoga. I was but I was a level ten pro compared to Charlie and his ridiculously stiff joints. I watched Iris attempt to get him into more poses until he conquered even her endless positivity with his ineptitude.
“I’ll be back next week and we can take it from there. Brenna, looking forward to seeing you again. Charlie… perhaps I’ll leave the mats here so you can practice.”
I burst out laughing when she left the room.
“She just gave up on you,” I said, between chuckles.
“She did not,” Charlie said, pouting. “She realized that some people just aren’t built for yoga. She was wasting her time doing it with me anyway. You’re the pregnant one.”
“It's okay to suck at something the first time you try it. Being afraid of sucking is what stands in the way of trying new things.”
“Mm,” he said. He was on his back on the mat where Iris just handed his ass to him. I joined him on the other one. “Any more nuggets of wisdom for me Deepak Chopra?”
“Drink plenty of water and always back up your data.”
He laughed. “I did well for my first time. I’ve never done it before. Many people wouldn’t be able to bend over and touch their toes.”
“You weren’t able to bend over and touch your toes.”
“But I almost did. Whatever. I was a receptive and focused student even if my body has its limits.”
“You looked like Frankenstein’s monster if he was a contortionist and also tripping on mushrooms at the same time,” I said, laughing. He leaned over me and attacked me with tickles to my ribs and waist. I shrieked, trying to wriggle away from him. He pinned me to the ground, straddling me so that I couldn’t move at all. I looked up at him. The light, giggly mood dissipated. Charlie looked down at me, taking plenty of time to ogle at my tits.
“You know. I hear yoga is most effective when done naked.”
I giggled. “Oh really? I thought you didn’t know anything about yoga. Who told you that?”
“It was Iris in fact,” he said. He was speaking with so much authority, someone who didn’t know his sense of humor would think he was serious.
“It’s a powerful bonding ritual for couples expecting children together.”
“Oh, I see,” I said, humoring him. “Take me through some poses then.”
He smirked. “This is the first one,” he said, “clearly, we’ve mastered it. Now, let’s up the intensity.”
“I think I know one,” I said.