“Good, good,” he laughed. “I have some news about that project I told you about. Actually, could we have a short meeting right now? My office?” he asked.
“Oh, that sounds great,” I said, standing. This was the meeting that was going to give me the raise. I contractually had a million dollars coming my way but I knew better than to go into this blindly. All these months fighting my mother’s cancer had told me that things could change in the blink of an eye and you never wanted to be caught off guard. Very many people had no plan B. I wasn’t putting my trust in Charlie where my mother’s life was concerned. Therefore, Jameson and I had some things to discuss.
I followed Jameson to his office. He held the door open for me and closed it once I was inside. It looked different in there. It took a second for me to realize it was because the chair that was usually on the other side of his desk had been moved next to the one that he sat on. He went over and sat first, motioning for me to join. He turned his computer so I could see the screen.
“Okay, so none of this stuff should be out of your reach. We’re going to go through some budget projections, then after that, we have to put together some synopses. They’re supposed to reflect expected profits from possible product lines in the next fiscal year.”
“Sounds doable,” I said to him.
“You need to know these things like the back of your hand. I’m going to go through each one,” he said.
Unnecessary. I went to school for this and had years of experience by now. If I needed guidance, I would know who to call but I didn’t need nearly as much as he thought I did. I didn’t want to get combative straight out of the gate and in the interest of being professional, I shut my mouth. He started talking. I did my best to listen to him tell me things I already knew when I felt something on my leg. I looked down. It was his hand. I was so shocked I couldn’t even jerk away. I looked at him to see whether he’d at least stop because he realized that I had noticed, but he didn’t.
Maybe he didn’t? Maybe he hadn’t realized that he was feeling me up?
I didn’t know whether that was possible, I was just exploring the possibilities here. Jameson had had his moments; a lingering look here and there which at the very worse skeeved me out but nothing else. He had never struck me as the type to request a sexual favor for career development. I was still sitting there, shocked, trying to believe it wasn’t happening when his hand started to climb up my thigh. That was it. I stood up so suddenly he whipped around to look at me.
“Thanks, Mr. Jackson but I can figure out the projections myself. I’ll come to you if I need any help.” I scrambled out of his office as he was telling me he would send them my way. I passed my desk, got into the elevator and kept walking until I got to the deli. I felt queasy.
That did not happen. That did not just fucking happen.
I had had my fair share of harassment, it seemed like every woman I had ever talked to had at least one story. Jameson had always been kind of suspect, but he never crossed the line. His eyes lingered a little long from time to time and he sometimes made these double entendres which I never took to heart because we were colleagues. I felt… I felt violated. Ten, maybe even fifteen minutes had passed but I felt like his hand was still there. Like there was this grime or film stuck to me now where he touched me and I couldn’t get it off.
Lunch? Our usual? I texted Maggie.
So early? Did you run away lol? She texted back.
Something happened, I said. I didn’t reply to her next text, just waited for her to show up. She appeared as soon as lunch started. I was waiting with our orders when she came up and sat.
“I practically ducked out of work just now. What’s going on?” she asked. My food was in front of me but I hadn’t touched it. I felt not only sick but half-crazy thinking about what to do now. I needed to talk to someone just to get my own voice out of my head.
“Jameson touched me.” Her eyes almost fell out of her head.
“He what? When? Where?”
“His office. I asked him for a raise, right? Well, he said he’d be happy to give me one if I worked on this new project with him. Cool. Sounded like a perfectly reasonable exchange. So, he tells me today that we’re going to start and we have to have a short meeting. I go to his office and the chair that’s usually opposite his at his desk is on the other side, next to his. I don’t think much of it and I sit.” I was talking so fast I wasn’t even sure I was making sense, but Maggie never stopped me.
“So, he’s talking and I feel his hand on my knee. Maggie, I completely froze up. I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe he didn’t realize that he was touching me. But then he ran his hand up my thigh.” I stopped because I grossed myself out. That lunch was not getting eaten. I wouldn’t be able to keep it down.
“Say something, Brenna,” Maggie said.
“To who? His word against mine, who is going to win?”
“Then what are you going to do?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Quit then.”
“What?”
“Quit. You have the surrogacy money coming in, right?” she asked. I had opened up to her finally about my little arrangement with Charlie, as much as I could tell her contractually, at least. I shook my head.
“I’m not risking anything. I don’t want to burn this bridge and then have to come crawling back because something went left.”
“Do you think something might end up going left?” she asked. I thought about telling her what happened last night, but I couldn’t. I hadn’t even made sense of it myself yet.
“This guy is rich and powerful, I don’t want to risk anything because he would have the upper hand no matter which way you slice it.”