She pushed forward with her hips so the tip of my cock slid inside her. I leaned forward, thrusting into her slowly.
“Too much?” I asked.
“More,” she said, pulling me into her. I should have asked myself the same thing. She felt incredible. Whatever happened after this, we’d always have tonight. I was making it last.
14
Brenna
He was right there. You know he isn’t going to kick you out if you go over there and say you want to have sex.
I stared at the ceiling. There was a very lovely light fixture up there but that wasn’t why I was looking. I couldn’t sleep, I was horny and I was upset. The coffee I had just had before coming to bed was probably working against me but besides that, I couldn’t stop thinking about Charlie after our talk earlier. It was so frustrating not knowing for sure where we stood. Things were going to start changing once we actually went through the medical procedure to conceive. What then?
What if I actually did it? Walked over to his room, opened the door and came onto him?
We’d have sex, of course. I felt like he wouldn’t say no to me. I let a hand slide under my pajama shorts and touch my clit. That would help me get to sleep. I started rubbing slowly. I closed my eyes and he immediately appeared behind them. Not the man sleeping in the room next door, the man who took me to his beach house the night of the bonfire and took my virginity.
He was so… thorough. I had had sex with other people since but not everyone was as attentive and, well, talented as he was. I remembered that night like it was yesterday. I had put myself to sleep many nights thinking about our first time. We went twice. He let me suck him off only after he had made me come two times, once with his cock and the first time with his tongue. I slid a finger inside my pussy which was wet. It felt nothing like his cock, unfortunately.
I loved seeing him like that, so male and powerful. I loved how much he wanted me that night. He said he wanted to make it good for me and he delivered, above and beyond everything I expected. I could feel my orgasm start to mount. That night was perfect. It didn’t matter what was going on between us now because once, nothing mattered but the two of us.
The wave rose and crashed through me. I bit my lip so I didn’t whimper too loudly. My legs shook and I shuddered. It wasn’t nearly as intense as what he did to me that night but here and now it would have to do. I lay limp on the bed, the memory of our happy times together playing out in my head. Finally, I fell asleep.
We sat in the waiting room. There weren’t that many people there but most of them seemed to be couples. I wondered if they could tell that we were frauds. We weren’t a couple; not in the traditional sense. No, not in any sense. We weren’t together. We were living together while trying to conceive. In current year, a family could look all kinds of ways. I didn’t know why the thought depressed me so much. I was nervous. I shifted in my seat.
We were early for our first doctor’s appointment. Apparently, nothing too serious was going to happen today. They were just going to run us through the process and do some bloodwork.
“Hey.”
I looked over at Charlie. “What?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Why?”
“Just asking. You want water or something.”
“No.” I was snippy. That was unnecessary. I was not okay. I was way more nervous than I thought I would be about doing this. I thought I was a lot more resigned to this process than I was. That was in the beginning when this was strictly business. Now, things had happened and the relationship between Charlie and me wasn’t as black and white as it was before. Backing out was not an option but it sure sounded good. I was in too deep; I had already signed the contract and accepted the down payment. I needed the money anyway. If nothing else was going to get me through this, it was going to have to be that.
Someone called my name. I jumped out of my seat and followed them to the triage. She made small talk as she took my vitals. I looked away as she drew blood.
“Here is the cup for your sample.”
I looked at the little cup being offered to me by the nurse.
“The what?”
“The last thing we need is a urine sample. There’s a bathroom just across the hall. Just bring it back here when you’re done and you can go see the doctor shortly after.”
I stared at the white door of the bathroom stall as I inexplicably experienced performance anxiety even though I was alone. This was becoming more and more real by the second. I took my phone out and typed out a message to Maggie, but immediately deleted it. I just wanted to talk to someone to calm my nerves. Well, what the hell was Charlie for if I couldn’t break down around him from time to time and know that he’d comfort and support me?
No, Brenna, that was what a boyfriend was for. That was what a husband was for. That was what friends were for. Charlie fell into none of the above categories.
I handed in my sample and went back to the waiting room for our turn.
“You okay?” he asked again. Either he was asking because he was concerned, or he was giving me a chance to open up to him.
I pussed out. “I’m fine.”