I keep it together in the shower; gentle hands soaping up my body and shampooing my hair.
My gaze is blurred as I’m dressed, and a comb runs through my hair.
It’s not until I get into bed, and hear the unfurling of wings, that I dare look at who’s helping me. Even then, it doesn’t matter. I still can’t see his face. I do feel his body; the strength of his arms as he cradles me. The soothing feel of his hands as he strokes my hair.
“That was—” I start, my voice disappearing in a bubble of sobs.
“Shhh…” he soothes, and I bury my face against his warmth, his scent is heavenly, a rich, spicy musk; it consumes me, taking away the gods-awful smell of blood.
My winged lover sits behind me and pulls my back against his chest, wrapping his arms and wings around me like a shield, protecting me from Victorine, from this harsh, terrible world, until the pain fades.
34
Armin
Rumor travels quickly in the stone halls of the Academy, and by the time I reach the training room the other Immortals are aware that Hildi had been forced to clean up the blood-soaked fields the night before.
“She’s strong,” Miya says, sharpening one of his blades. “I have no doubt she can push through such trauma. She was created to carry the dead to Valhalla. She’s spent more time on battlefields than anywhere else.”
I frown, uneasy. “There’s something about what Victorine and Roland are doing to her that is more psychological than physical. She came here grieving and tired already.”
“He knew that,” Miya notes. “He saw her after the fight with the Morrigan. After Andi died.”
“Are we surprised Roland is exploiting a weakness?” Armin says, looking unusually tired.
“No,” I reply. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
Agis reaches for his fighting gloves. “This is why this whole bonding thing is bullshit. It’s putting her at risk, making her vulnerable.”
“That’s not true,” Rupert says, crossing the room from where he’d been adjusting his boots. “We’re giving her strength.”
“You’re getting off,” Agis shoots back. “Something you’ve all needed to do for a long time.”
Rupert’s face twists with darkness, and he lunges at Agis. It’s an uneven match physically, but Rupert’s smart and immediately goes for the back of the knee and his ribcage. Agis buckles, taken off guard, and Rupert knocks him to his knees, pulling out a short but sharp blade and pressing it against his throat.
“Woah!” Miya cries. The two of us rush over and drag them apart.
“What the fuck?” I ask, taking the blade from Rupert and giving Agis a dirty look. “This is ridiculous. We’ve agreed the bond is real, that it’s helping all of us. Well almost all of us—those of us willing to give it a shot.”
Agis hauls himself off the floor. “You know what I heard this morning when I walked out of my rooms? Is that the vampire, Marielle, saw you two together—compromised.” He points at Rupert. Then he swings his gaze at Miya. “And don’t think everyone didn’t know what the two of you were doing behind that very thin curtain at the tavern. Both of you just became targets, and if you think she’ll leave you alone, you’re foolish.”
“So far Victorine has left us alone,” Miya says.
“Has she?” he asks. “Or has she focused all her energy on the one person we need to lead us. She’s fucking with us, boys, like she always does.”
He walks toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Miya asks.
“Train without me. You’ll be fine.”
He vanishes through the magical door.
Miya asks, “What was that all about?”
“If I had to guess, two things. One, he’s trying to protect her, and two,” I run my hand over my face, “he’s protesting a little too damned much.”
Rupert’s eyebrows raise. “You think he believes in the bond?”