“I moved out here, I guess.” I feel like a loser for saying it. What girl gives up her long-term dream to stay in a tiny town? Especially when all but one of her boyfriends are leaving. I never really knew who I was when I lived at home, but I really didn’t think I was that girl.
I can hear my mom whispering in my ear, telling me to remember how hard I worked toward this. How much I gave up.
“Changing your mind or being uncertain isn’t unusual for this stage in the process, but application deadlines are approaching. Early admissions have already been secured, so if you’re serious about Emory or any other college, it’s important to get that paperwork turned in so you have options.”
“Okay, that makes sense.”
“So you think you’re interested in public health? That can narrow down your school choices.”
The old me would have said yes, but the new Starlee, the one that’s lived up in these mountains and found a new home, isn’t so sure. I used to be scared of people and the thought of working in a lab all day seemed appealing, but being here in Lee Vines, volunteering with the Helping Hands club and learning more about the system the boys have struggled through has opened my mind to new ideas.
“I’ll do some research,” I tell Mrs. Addison. “And make a decision.”
She smiles. “Good. You’re obviously a bright and talented student, Starlee, I’d hate for you to miss out on any opportunities.”
I stand, taking a stack of paperwork that she hands me about scholarships and requirements, and thank her on my way out the door. I exhale in the little hallway, feeling overwhelmed. She’s right. It’s time to make a decision. No more avoiding the issue.
I walk by the other counselor’s office and spot Jake’s broad shoulders and blond hair. His jaw tics and his counselor hands him a sheet of paper. “We’ve been contacted by a few schools interested in your attending their schools and playing football, but your grades are borderline in English and History. You’ll need to pass all the required end-of-course exams to graduate,” the man says. I feel a ball of tension grow in my chest. “If you don’t pass those classes, then there’s no way they can offer you a spot on the team.”
“I understand,” Jake says.
“We’re here to support you—one hundred percent. Just let us know what we can do.”
“Thanks, Mr. Russell.”
I wait with my back against the wall and Jake spots me as soon as he exits the office. His jaw is set—frustrated—but his eyes light up a bit when he sees me. He clutches a packet of paper in his hand, but it’s not the same kind as mine. As he walks up I see it’s a study guide for the upcoming tests. I hold out my hand and he gives it to me.
“You heard all that?” he asks, rubbing his forehead.
“Some of it,” I reply. “Enough.”
“I don’t know if I can do all the stuff they want—pass those tests.”
I reach for his hand. “Of course, you will. I’ll help.”
He grimaces. “You shouldn’t have to do that. You’re busy with your own stuff.”
“That’s for me to deal with. This afternoon—we’ll get organized. I can work on my applications while you study.”
“Okay.” He bends over and kissing my forehead. “Thank you.”
He tosses his arm over my shoulder and I feel safe beneath it. Different from the weight of change in my hand. Jake and I may both have challenges ahead, but one thing's for certain—we both feel more secure tackling them together than going at it alone.
10
Starlee
“I like the blue best.”
“More than the yellow?”
“Yes,” Katie tells my mom. “Blue is better for you and Starlee. The yellow clashes with your hair.”
“True,” Mom says, flipping through fabric swatches. I’m not sure when this wedding got so out of control. Probably when my mom decided to take over. Star Jones never makes anything easier—not when she decides to channel all her energy into it.
“Are you sure LeeLee wants all this?” I ask from the couch in the lobby of the lodge. The boys are in charge of the Wayward Sun for the afternoon, giving my mom a chance to focus on her favorite new obsession. “It just seems a little much.”
“It’s her wedding, Starlee,” Mom says with a shake of her head. “I know you’d probably rather elope or something, but LeeLee is a traditionalist with things like this. She and Tom deserve to be celebrated.”