“He only said you heard about the Cross brothers and how quickly they were taking over… I asked him if you came for me.” Her voice hitches for the first time and she has to swallow thickly before continuing. I watch pain flash across her expression and she doesn’t try to conceal it. “He said you didn’t.”
Tap, tap. My pointer finger rests on the desk as I lean my thigh against the side of it opposite from her. Tap, tap. I wonder if that hurt her. Tap, tap. I watch her face as she waits for me to say something, but I don’t.
“I came up with a plan when I heard you were here,” she confesses.
“A plan?”
“I had information I thought you’d want.” I don’t respond to her comment. I merely stare in her doe eyes, watching the way the gentle gold flecks among the blue brighten with emotions in their depths.
“Like a deal? You wanted to make a deal with me?” Anger roils inside of me, overwhelming my focus. A deal to get me to leave her alone.
“Yes,” she whispers this time and her fear isn’t something she can hide, judging by how she inches away from me.
“You thought I came to hurt you?” I question her.
“At first.”
I ignore my immediate reaction to hearing her admit that. “I have a deal too. I’ve thought of a lot of them over the past few years.”
“What’s your deal?” she asks and lifts her chin slightly, her bright blue eyes boring into mine. Back to business maybe. I’m not sure what’s going on in that pretty little head of hers.
“You do everything I say.”
Her eyes search mine until she blinks rapidly and looks past me, shaking her head. “That’s not a deal.”
My words echoing in my head sound more and more inviting. “Yes, it is.”
“What do I get in return?” She licks her lips quickly, leaning forward as if she’s scrambling to hold on to something before adding, “Deals have two parties.”
“You get to live,” I offer her in all seriousness. I don’t care who she’s become. Laura’s mine. I will get everything I want from her. I need it.
“I’m already living.”
“You stole from me. There’s a debt owed and a corresponding punishment. I would never let someone else steal from me and live.”
“Just kill me then,” she says and her voice cracks although she’s quick to clear her throat. “Just kill me if that’s what you want.” Despite her shattered veneer she holds her head high. She accepts my glare and doesn’t falter, her eyes brimming with tears.
Before I can respond, she says something else. I don’t hear it though as I take a seat; I simply watch as she pulls herself back together. She’s damn good at it. At not needing me.
I take my time, giving her a moment to breathe. At the head of the desk, I grip the armrests, waiting.
“Did you hear what I said?” Her composure is back, although her breathing is ragged.
“You said you wanted an exchange. You want to change the details of our deal.”
Her doe eyes beg me to consider, and they hold a vulnerability that her tense curves fail to deliver. As she takes a step forward, I think she wants to sit in the other wingback chair, but her legs give out. She grips both arms of the chair across from me as her chest rises and falls with a quickened pace. She can’t hide the fear of coming back to this life. Of coming back to me.
As her bottom lip slips between her teeth, I note that she can’t hide the desire either.
“I’ve wanted this for too long to consider your proposal,” I tell her, spreading my legs wider and leaning forward in the wingback chair opposite hers. My elbows rest on my knees as I lean closer to her, only inches away as I whisper, “You know what I want. I want you.”
“I can give you something you want more,” she speaks clearly, although her last words waver when her gaze drifts to my lips.
Lies. There’s nothing I want more.
I would have told her that and meant it with every bone in my body, but then she tells me, “I can give you Marcus.”
Laura
What would he do to me?
Even as I reach in my satchel for the notebook, my hand trembles. I can’t imagine Seth hurting me. I can’t. Even as he looks at me the way he does. That’s not what scares me.
I’m scared to go back, back to him and all this shit he comes with. I don’t want this life. I’ve never wanted it.
A voice in the back of my head whispers: you’re afraid to fall in love with him again. I ache for him. So deeply. Agony shreds me when I see who he’s become. I want to cry more than anything. I don’t know how I’ll survive this. All I have to cling to is a collection of photocopied pages, as if they’ll save me from this.