“I have no idea,” Carrie said honestly. “I know what I wanted, and I thought this week would be different.”
“I know,” Annie said. “But you’re strong. And I think it’s great you’re going on your honeymoon anyway. You need a vacation.”
“I’m going on my honeymoon with my brother’s friend, like I’m some infant and can’t take care of myself.”
“Then don’t think of it that way,” Annie said. “Think of it as an opportunity. Everything you ever wanted is possible this one week.”
Not really, Carrie thought. She wanted a family. Marriage, kids, the whole thing. Maybe that’s why she’d hung in with Kevin even though she’d known it wasn’t right for a long time. As if the universe was listening and decided Carrie needed a physical reminder of what she wanted and the dashed hopes that went out the door, literally, with Kevin, a toddler ran down the air bridge and smashed her miniature Dora the Explorer wheelie suitcase into Carrie’s leg.
Carrie winced at the little scratch of pain the suitcas
e left, and the little girl was giggling, pigtails bouncing, clearly so excited to get on the plane.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. Lidia! Stop!” the frantic mother was calling after her, weaving around the line of people to get to her daughter. It looked like chaos, but Carrie’s heart melted a little with envy and sadness.
The little girl looked just like her mother. And the mother looked tired but happy. Even chasing after her daughter, she was smiling, and there was a tone of laughter in her words every time the little girl slowed her pace to turn back and beam at her mother. A family trip to Hawaii.
The kind of thing she’d dreamed of. The kind of thing she’d never have now.
“Don’t think of it as a honeymoon,” Annie continued, snapping her out of her thoughts. “You said you’re taking this trip for you and to live out the fantasy in your mind. So it’s your fantasymoon.”
Carrie laughed a little. Annie had been her best friend since birth, and she always had a way of making the world around her look rosier. Maybe if Carrie couldn’t have the long-term things she’d always wanted, she could have this week to try to have every fantasy she could. Why not, right? Wasn’t like she had much left to lose.
“You’re a free woman,” Annie said. “And, sweetie, I hate to say it, but you were in a celibate relationship with a man who didn’t appreciate you. You should do whatever you want to feel good again. Start fresh, starting now.”
“I like that idea,” Carrie said, just as she reached the open door of the plane, trying not to once again count the months and months that she and Kevin had drifted apart this past year, in every way. “I’m boarding, so I’ll call you when I land.”
“Okay, try to have fun. And remember: it’s time for you to go after what you want. This week is all yours,” Annie said, and Carrie could feel her friend hug her through the phone.
“Thank you,” she said, and hung up.
“Welcome aboard,” the stewardess greeted Carrie as she stepped on the plane. Her foot slipped just a tad—and strong hands steadied her from behind. Blake.
She glanced over her shoulder, and his blue eyes hit hers while the heat of his strong palms melted her arms. Carrie righted her footing, but she didn’t get far because a family of four was blocking the aisle. The dad put a suitcase in the overhead bin while the mom cooed to her baby in the seat and a little girl played with a Barbie next to her.
So they get to live your dream. At least someone does. Even if it’s not me.
She had to dip her head down and pass them. She didn’t want to look at the pretty picture. It made her chest twist. She wanted a family. She was ready. And instead, she was boarding a plane with a plus one who saw her as feeble and wrecked.
“You okay?” Blake asked softly from behind her. Anger spiked though her system. She was tired of being asked if she was okay. No, she wasn’t. But she was trying to be, and Blake was getting in the way. And he smelled good. Especially when he leaned in to her and she felt his hard chest against her back as they shifted through the cramped aisle to their seats.
“I’m actually irritated because I can’t figure out why this oversized mountain man is on my heels.” She shot him a glare, and he grinned. “You really don’t need to follow me to Hawaii. Won’t the moose miss you?”
She was lashing out because A) Blake looked way too good, and B) he was hovering like she was made of glass. How was she supposed to feel strong when he kept her within a two-centimeter radius at all times? Never mind that his presence reminded her she was with yet another man who didn’t see her as more than platonic on a day she thought she’d be blissfully in love.
“Oversized mountain man?” he asked, repeating her words with amusement. “I’ll take that as a compliment. The moose, however, will be fine without me. I’m excited to see Hawaii again.”
“Again?” she asked. She knew Blake had money and traveled. Of course he did, because it wasn’t enough to be sinfully sexy, successful, and own a business. He had to be wealthy and well-traveled, too.
He nodded. “I’d be happy to show you some of my favorite spots.”
“I’m looking to fulfill my own fantasy, thank you,” she said.
“I can help you with that, too.” His voice was raspy and close to her ear, and a tingle shot down her spine.
She was about to come back with some kind of annoyed retort, but he cupped her hips and angled her into her seat.
And all the while, she couldn’t get her mind to shut up.