“And you are their son.?
?? Her grip tightened. “You will forever be a McCade. The best parts of them are in you and Lily and Alex. They’d be proud, Colt.”
“Are you?” His eyes were fierce, and Jenna felt like she swallowed her tongue. He took a step forward. She stepped back. They did this until her shoulders were pinned against the door. “How can you say that they’d be proud of me when you yourself are ashamed of me?”
“I’m not ashamed you, Colt.”
“Bullshit.” She placed her hands on his chest but he didn’t budge. “You want to know me, Jenna? Every damn time I come to Diamond, this death shit comes up. But this time? This time I have you to deal with, too,” he snapped.
How had this conversation turned so dramatically? Jenna searched Colt’s face, but he wore a mask of anger. She remembered what Lily had said. Colt had just shared something deeply personal about himself and was left vulnerable. And now he was angry about it.
“I’ve tried to stay away from you,” he said. “Tried to get you out of my system. Nothing works. You sink your hooks in, then you leave, and it’s like…”
“A crash.”
Colt nodded. Jenna knew that feeling too well. She’d wanted more, and Colt had just given it to her. He’d opened up. Trusted her.
“Careful, JJ. I see your mind working again. You just might admit the truth.”
“I’ve never been dishonest with you.”
“No, you’ve been very clear on what you want. And that’s me. For one night.”
“Colt, it’s not like that.”
“Just admit it.” He pushed himself away from her, a look of pure disgust on his face.
“What do you want me to say, Colt? You need to hear the words? Will that make this all better?”
“Yes! Christ, JJ, I don’t even know what I’m fighting here! I just know I’m in knots and you’re the cause. You wanted a fling, I gave it to you. You wanted us to be a secret? Wanted me to keep my mouth shut? I did that too. Don’t insult my intelligence. Just admit to why—it’s because you’re ashamed of me.”
Jenna threw up her hands. “I’m ashamed of me!”
A sob broke low in her throat and Colt’s eyes went wide. Tears threatened to spill, but Jenna clenched her teeth, refusing to cry in front of him.
“I know where I come from and everyone else does too. And I can’t outrun the truth of that. The truth of what I am.” A single tear danced along her lower lashes and she said the one thing she’d never said out loud before. The one thing she never wanted to admit. “I’m trash, Colt. No matter how hard I try…I can’t escape that.”
“No,” Colt said roughly. He opened his mouth, but nothing else came out. Just another “No.” As if disciplining a toddler for touching something breakable.
She searched his face, looking for any sign of what he might be thinking, when the truth hit her like a falling brick to the skull.
There she stood, staring down a man she was falling for, and neither of them had any idea how to deal with this kind of emotion. The only thing left to do was turn around and walk away.
Chapter Thirteen
Summer nights in Diamond used to be Colt’s favorite time. The smell of burgers being grilled and the distant sound of souped-up trucks hauling down dirt roads.
It felt like home.
From the door of Penny’s BBQ, he could see the red roof of the elementary school down the block and he thought of Jenna. Her life was here. Which meant that if he wanted her for longer than the summer, it’d have to be here. What was crazy was that Colt’s mind didn’t immediately reject the idea of setting down roots in Diamond.
He walked inside and sat down at the bar.
“Wanna talk about it?” Huck asked, fingers curled around a longneck.
“Nothing to talk about.”
“Come on, man, you’ve been moping around all day, not yourself. What’s going on with you? Itching to get back on the circuit?”