had a different opinion when it came to this.
“People run into things they know will burn them all the time,” he said. His words hit me hard and the pain in my chest redoubled, thinking of Jack. I’d ran fast and blind into him, and knew the whole time he was an inferno I couldn’t control.
“I learned a lot,” Cal continued. “Like how to handle myself better for next time. That’s why I come out here. To remember the pain, the adrenaline, and the fear. All of it gave me tools to be better.”
I bit the inside of my cheek and fidgeted with the beer in my hand. “That’s a good lesson,” I admitted. “And I’m glad you brought me here. I’m glad you’re okay.”
I handed him the bottle once more, my hand was now freezing, having clasped the bottle for so long, and I rubbed them together quickly.
“You warm enough?” he asked, opening the tailgate.
“I’m alright, the cape is pretty heavy.”
Cal, however, was wearing only a T-shirt and fireman’s pants. While it was a great look for him, he couldn’t be that warm.
“What about you?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m good. I tend to run hot.”
I nodded, having no doubt about that. Without warning, he grabbed my waist, his big hands sliding around my hips as he lifted me up to sit on the tailgate. I gasped a little at the surprise of his touch. No matter how brief it was. He sat me down, then stood in front of me. I shivered a little because, even in the dark, with the glow of the taillights illuminating the night, I could see his blue eyes roam across my body like he was searching for something.
He’d looked at me the same way the night I’d met him. He had a way of effortlessly making me feel seen, inspiring a soul-deep heat that caused my mind to crank out the memory of his lips, and how amazing they felt against mine.
“I’m not buying it, Kitten,” he finally said. Before I could ask more, he left me sitting there, grabbed something from the cab of the truck, then came back. “Here.” He wrapped his fire jacket over my shoulders. The smell of spice and the feel of the rough material instantly engulfed me, and I took another deep breath.
Wide open space, stars, and wrapped in Cal’s jacket made me feel déjà vu. I remembered the time Jack had wrapped me in his coat when I’d first met him.
I closed my eyes and hung my head. It was like Cal and Jack were connected on some cosmic level.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, putting his hands on either side of my hips, grabbing the edge of the tailgate.
I shook my head. “I feel like this is some cruel game.”
“What do you mean?”
I laughed, but there was nothing funny about this situation. “I don’t know what I mean. It sounds crazy.”
“I can deal with crazy.” He stepped a little closer until my dangling shins met his thighs. “Tell me.” The deep rough sound of his voice was something I’d never heard before. It was a command. Casual, easygoing Cal was obviously alpha, but this was the first time I’d ever heard the dominance come out. I tried hard not to respond, but my entire body wouldn’t listen.
“Everything feels like a repeat,” I said, and glanced at his face. “Jack left, and it hurts. Still hurts. But you are his friend and there are similarities.”
He frowned, but took another small step closer, shifting his hips, and silently urging me to continue. So I did. No reason not to be honest.
“There are certain things you say, how you move…even giving me your jacket. Those moments just remind me of him. How we met. Words he said to me once.”
Cal took a rough breath that seemed to be lined with less than thrilled intent.
“It’s never fun being compared to another man,” he said.
I hung my head, but he cupped my neck and made me face him. His touch was warm, and felt so good against my skin. Once upon a time, I’d associated it with a dirty thing, but now I craved it. Missed it. Longed for the skin to skin connection. It was like a drug.
“I want you to really hear what I’m saying, Lana,” Cal started. His eyes bored into mine. “I’m not Jack.”
“I know,” I said quickly, and dismissed it because yeah, that was obvious.
“No.” He held firm. “I’m. Not. Jack.”
I studied him for a long time. Anger and angst rolled off of him. But there was understanding too. Some kind of patience I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but I felt it in how he touched me.