“This time of year, the campus seems to get darker and more desolate even earlier than usual. I was getting ready to leave too, we can walk out together.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
“Let me just pack up here,” she said, putting my proposal and her laptop in her bag, “And I’m just waiting for—”
“Hey, babe,” a voice said from the doorway. The same voice that plagued my nightmares. I turned and saw Brock.
“Hi!” Erica said, and hustled over to kiss him. My eyes shot wide. “Lana, this is my fiancé, Brock VanBuren.”
No. No, this wasn’t happening.
“Lana is scared to walk to her car,” Erica said to him, putting a hand on his chest. “So, I told her we could walk her?”
“Of course we can,” Brock said with a smile, throwing his arm around Erica.
I opened my mouth to say something. Something along the lines of “Run!” or “Please, God, wake me up from this nightmare.” But Brock beat me to it.
“And no need for an introduction, babe,” he said to Erica. “Lana here is family. Right, sis?”
I choked on the instant bile that rose in my throat. But Erica seemed just as taken aback as I was.
“Oh, I didn’t know.” She glanced between Brock and me.
“It’s a fun surprise. I knew Lana went to school here, but didn’t know she had the best professor on campus,” he said, and kissed her quickly. I wanted to hurl. He was so smooth and easy to believe.
It was obvious that Erica did. Her face was flushed with excitement, and I could see the adoration in her expression when he tightened his arms around her and cradled her into his side. My professor—my friend—was in love. With my rapist.
I wanted to keel over.
“Step-sister,” I finally said. The only words that made sense and I could muster to come out of my shocked mouth. Both Brock and Erica frowned at me like I’d just spoken a different language. I gathered myself quickly. “I’m his step-sister. And, yes, this is quite a surprise.”
Erica snuggled deeper into Brock, her arm lovingly slid around him, connecting them as a single unit. Reminding me, once again, when it came to my family, it was me standing against them. Alone.
“Well, that explains why I didn’t know by your last name. Good thing he showed up. You ready to go to your car?” she asked.
I wanted to tell her, no, I didn’t want to go anywhere with him, then steal her away and tell her everything. Call him out on the horrible person he was. On what he did to me. To my family. But my mouth wouldn’t move. My feet just carried me like a zombie to my car, following behind Brock and Erica, as my mind tried to process how the one area in my life I was proud of, thought I had control of, was now within Brock’s clutches.
“Great job again on the proposal,” Erica said, as I got into my car. “Can’t wait for our meeting next Monday.”
I felt sick. Monday was something I had been looking forward to, had been working all semester to achieve. Finally going to the board. Only now, getting that final write-off from Erica would mean inviting the one person I had worked so hard to exorcise from my life, back in.
“Erica, wait,” I said. “I need to talk to you.”
She turned toward me, but Brock kept her close. “Actually, we’re heading to the airport,” Brock said, then turned his attention on Erica. “We’re already running late, babe.”
“Oh.” She checked her watch. “Shoot! Yes, we are. I have a conference this week in Phoenix. So sorry, Lana, but let’s talk Monday, okay?” She waved and hustled with Brock in the other direction.
“You drive safe now, sis,” Brock said with a wink, but his stare was cold and threatening. It was the first time I felt truly terrified of him in weeks. I started my car and sped off, wondering if this was what shock felt like. No, no I didn’t need to wonder. I was pretty sure this was shock.
I parked in front of my house, but didn’t go in.
I inhaled through my nose and exhaled out of my mouth, trying to take calming breaths. I could deal with this…I could deal with this…
All that strength I was trying to obtain was nowhere to be found. All the practice of beating
back fear and anxiety wasn’t helping. But I still tried. Tried to handle what had just happened. Tried to handle the fact that Brock was back in my life, despite my best efforts.
My eyes hurt from the strain of keeping back tears. Angry tears. All while trying not to hate myself for being damn near mute. Maybe I should have screamed? Tried harder to tell her? Yell if I had to. But I didn’t. I watched her walk away with my sick step-brother.