I winced because it burned, but somehow dulled the ache in my chest that had become a permanent fixture. Just as vital as my heart and lungs, so was the emptiness. The hole that fed on insecurity and grew slowly every day. It was also why I didn’t date much.
To be honest, I’d had one college boyfriend, and I didn’t think my attempts at sex with Andy counted, since I always started panicking every time he tried. Brock had ruined me, and a few less than stellar moments of “intimacy” attempts with Andy later, I decided it wasn’t worth it.
I looked at Jack.
Not worth it?
Then why was my body screaming? Why was I responding to him in a way I never had with anyone else? It was as if someone had come and flicked a light switch, turning everything I never knew existed, like lust, on. Was this how the tattoo girl felt? How a normal woman felt?
I wanted to explore that, but had no idea what to do. How to feel. How to act. It took one encounter and a matter of moments to feel comfortable around Jack. Something that never happened when I met new people. Hell, it never happened after years of knowing someone.
“I’m going to get another,” I said, my voice a bit shaky. I reached for my wallet, but Jack laid his hand on top of mine.
“I’ll get you another one.”
All he did was glance toward the bar, lift his chin, and magically, drinks were being brought over to us in record time. When Angel sat down another pineapple vodka and bourbon, she deliberately looked at Jack and said, “I get off work at two.” Then winked as she strutted away. A quick surge of jealousy shot through me.
“Sounds like a good offer,” I said, taking a sip of my fresh drink.
“I must have missed it, because I heard no offer.”
I laughed. “I know you’re not that dense. She was just—”
“I’m aware of what she was doing.” He shifted so his knee barely parted mine. The feel of obviously expensive denim scratched my skin in a way that sent a surge of need straight to my core. “But I’m busy at the moment.” A small smile tugged his way-too-perfect lips. “I seem to find myself engaged in a game I’m not ready to quit.”
I took a deep breath, trying to hold on to any kind of boldness I had. “All games end eventually.”
“True.”
“And there’s always a winner and loser.”
He nodded.
Trying to hone in on his energy, and thanking God the alcohol was helping, it was my turn to lean in just an inch…that spark in me flickering a bit stronger.
“Statistically speaking, smart money would be placed on a sure thing,” I said and glanced at Angel behind the bar, then back to Jack. “Because I’m not interested in being on the losing end of anyone’s game.”
Respect, accompanied with dark expression, flashed over his face.
“Here I thought I was the one losing myself.”
His tone was deep and soft and packed a punch straight to the stomach that had me thinking this man was interested in me. Beyond interested. And I was beyond ready to take him up on it. But there was too much unsaid, too much unknown to make that possible.
“What do I make you?” When he frowned, I clarified. “We’ve established that you make me nervous. What do I make you?”
“Captivated.”
Air caught in my throat. His response was quick. If this was the game I entered, playing by his rules, then I could only hope he was being honest.
In the spirit of saying what was on my mind, I decided to try it. What had Jack told me? If I had a question, ask?
The way he was looking at me, brows furrowed in concentration and dark eyes staring at my face, making me feel more seen and alive than I ever had, made me desperate to know:
“What are you thinking about right now?”
Without breaking that penetrating gaze he said, “What you taste like.”
My lips parted, and that was when I caught a glimpse of Brock, hovering near the opposite corner of the bar.