No, please no.
“Kathy arranged for me to have the test here. We got the results yesterday, and they were abnormal.” She’s crying hard, but her eyes are closed as she tells me. “The text I got after meeting with the contractor, that was her. When I called her and she told me, I left then to go back to Chicago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were so happy, Aaron. High on life, excited about your house. You’ve been talking about it a lot lately, and yesterday, you were elated. I couldn’t take that from you. I was going to tell you. I had planned to tell you after he left, but when I saw how excited you were, I chickened out.”
“So when you got the results, why not call me then? I could have been with you; I would have driven you if you needed to go to Chicago.”
“You have a life here, Aaron. A farm to run. You can’t just drop your responsibilities and drive me to Chicago.”
“Bullshit. Dad could have overseen things for a few days, or even Evan.”
She nods. “Yeah, and what about if it’s cancer? I’m going to need treatment, and I know all too well what that’s like, Aaron. I know that it makes you sick and weak. I know how much my mom had to lean on me, then what? How could I ask you to do that? The thought of placing that responsibility on you, the thought of you seeing me like that, watching me go through it. . . . It’s not fair to you. This is my truth. With my family history, this is something I will more than likely have to go through again and again. It shouldn’t be your responsibility,” she whispers.
“It’s not. It’s my privilege. My privilege to love you, to hold your hand through it all. Good, bad, scary, happy, all of it. Every fucking minute, it’s a privilege for me to be a part of it.”
“Kathy told me I was being selfish. She gave me a letter from my mom, and her words, plus all the scolding Kathy did . . . I was starting to see it. It wasn’t until Kinley called that it hit me that I don’t want to live without you. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I know I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m with you. In my eyes, it’s selfish to love you, to bring this into your life, but I want to be selfish this time. I want you,” she sobs. “I just. . . . Do you think you can forgive me? I know leaving like that was a bitch move, but I was scared. I am scared. I’m terrified,” she admits through her tears.
I blink a few times to get my own emotions under control. “Come here,” I say gruffly. She doesn’t hesitate as she leans in closer. I place my good hand behind her neck and pull her in for a kiss, soft and slow, and then rest my forehead against hers. “I love you, Whitney. We’ll do this together, okay? For the rest of our forever, we do this together. You and me, we face it together.”
“I love you,” she whispers.
“Lie with me. I need to hold you.”
“Your arm.” She leans back and rakes her eyes over me.
“It’s fine. I’m still hopped up on painkillers from surgery.”
“Surgery? They didn’t tell me that!”
“I was working with a new filly. I knew I shouldn’t have been. I didn’t sleep last night. Instead, I lay out on the dock all night. This morning I needed to do something, anything to distract me from the worry, so I started messing with the filly. Joe has ridden her a few times, and I wanted to as well. I saddled her up and it was all good until she got spooked. My reflexes were slow, and she bucked me off.”
“Oh, Aaron. It’s my fault you’re in here. I’m so sorry.” She lays a gentle hand on my arm.
“No, it’s not. I knew better, but did it anyway.” I pat the bed next to me and she takes the hint, kicking off her shoes and stretching out beside me. “I missed you,” I say, kissing the top of her head. She rests her head on my chest. I close my eyes and just hold her, relishing the fact that she’s home and back in my arms where she belongs. I think about everything she said, and it hits me. “Did you have the test?”
“Yeah, this morning.”
I swallow hard and prepare myself for the next answer. “Do you have the results?”
“No. I was supposed to stay there and get them, but Kinley called and I left.”
I tighten my hold on her. “We’ll get them together,” I say.
“Knock, knock,” Kinley says, walking right on in.
Whitney tries to move, but I hold her to me. “Hey.” I give my sister a smile.
“We’re going to head home. The kids are restless. The doctor says you have to spend the night, but should be released tomorrow.”
“McKinley,” Whitney says.
My sister walks to the bed and Whit sits up. This time, I let her. Kinley wraps her in a hug. “I don’t care, as long as you’re here now.”
“I understand if—”
“If I tell you not to come back to work until this guy is ready for you to?” She grins. “We’ll talk later. My brother is giving me the ‘get the hell out of here’ look. Mom and Dad are going to come in next, but they are leaving too. We assumed you would stay?” she asks Whitney.
“Yeah, I’m here as long as he is.”
“Thought so.” She winks. “I’ll see you two kids later,” she says with a wave, and she’s out the door.
Mom and Dad come in next and it’s pretty much the same. They give us both a hug and an “I’ll see you tomorrow” and they’re gone.
Finally, just me and my girl, until the door opens and a nurse walks in. “Mr. Mills,” she starts, but Whitney holds her hand up.
“I’m staying. I promise I won’t get in your way and cause trouble, but if he’s here, so am I.”
The nurse looks at me and all I can do is grin. She shakes her head. “Fine, but if anyone asks, I told you you had to leave and didn’t see you sneak in.” She winks at Whit.
“Deal,” she agrees.
Whit hops out of bed, much to my dismay, and lets the nurse do her thing. She asks me about pain and informs me that pain meds are in my IV. She checks my vitals and then she’s gone. “Get back up here,” I tell Whitney.
Her phone rings and her face pales. “It’s Kathy,” she whispers.
“Answer it, put it on speaker, and come here. Together,” I remind her.