“I did have an ulterior motive for asking you to hang out with me tonight. There are a few things I want to tell you. When we are at my place or even my parents,’ it seems like we get sidetracked with Lexi, and I just wanted to spend some time with you so I could get this out.” I feel her stiffen in my arms. I bury my face in her neck and place a gentle kiss against her skin. “It’s not bad. I just want to get all of this out in the open before the wedding.”
I’m glad she’s not facing me. I’m nervous as hell, and I’m sure I would botch the speech I’d planned if I were looking her in the eye. “I need you to know this is a real marriage to me. I will respect you and provide for you. You’ve done so much for me, that I just . . . I need for you to understand, for me, this is real. It’s not just some arrangement. I want to share each day with you. I want you in my bed at night. I know it’s temporary, and I don’t expect anything more than what you’ve given me, but there will be no one else for me while we’re married. It’s you and me, McKinley. I just need for you to know that. Need you to know where I stand with all of this. Everything happened so fast, and I just . . . it’s more.”
I don’t say anything else, giving her the time she needs to process what I’ve said. I just hold her in my arms and wait.
“So . . .” She clears her throat. “So, you want us to be together, as husband and wife, completely until this arrangement is over?” she asks.
No! I want to yell. I want this for as long as you’ll have me. Not just until the risk of losing Lexi is gone. I can hear the hope in her voice and this arrangement is how she wants it, how it has to be. She needs a man who doesn’t have a ready-made family. I know she loves Lexi, but . . . she deserves better than me. However, I’m a selfish prick when it comes to her and I want it all for as long as she’s my wife. “Yeah,” I say instead.
She’s quiet again, the silence surrounding us. “Okay,” she murmurs. It’s so low I almost miss it.
Excitement runs through me as I realize this is it. She agreed to this. “Hey, can you spin this way?” I ask her.
She moves down and then turns to face me. She’s too far away, but I needed to see her face. I grab each leg and pull her to me; her laughter echoes throughout the night sky. I don’t stop until I have her in my lap, her legs locked around my waist.
I cradle her face in my hands and bring her lips to mine. I kiss her with all the excitement coursing through my veins, with all the hope for what we could be in my heart. I kiss her, showing her what she means to me. I keep my lips soft against hers, taking my time tasting her. Her hands comb through my hair as she holds my mouth to hers.
She wants this.
I let myself get so lost in the kiss that I almost forget there’s one more thing I had on the agenda for tonight. Reaching back to the corner of the blanket, I grab the little black velvet box that I laid there. I do this without breaking our kiss.
Once I have the ring in my hand, I pull my lips from hers and take her in. Her face is flushed and her lips are swollen from our kisses. Her eyes tell me what she won’t . . . she wants more. I plan to give her just that. I just have something to ask her first.
My heart is about to beat out of my chest. My palms are sweaty and I want to wipe them on my thighs, but she’s on my lap and then there’s the ring I have clutched in my palm. I can feel the diamond digging against my skin.
Leaning in, I place my forehead against hers. I will my heart to slow down, as I open my mouth to speak, but the words won’t come. I’m so overwhelmed in this moment that I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. I know what she’s going to say, but in my heart, this is real. I want her for a lifetime, longer if possible.
“Evan?” I can hear the concern in her whispered plea.
Lifting my head, her worried eyes watch my every move. I grab her hand, careful to not drop the ring, and bring it to my lips. “I wouldn’t change anything about this, McKinley. I have only one regret when it comes to saying our vows.”
Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t comment.
“McKinley Rae Mills, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?” I slide the ring onto her left hand. My eyes don’t leave hers, and when I see tears begin to fall, I start to worry this was the wrong thing to do. That this was too much for our situation. It’s not until I see her blinding smile and she wraps her arms around my neck, sobbing as she buries her face there, that I realize they are happy tears.
I hold her as she cries and fear sets in. What if I read her wrong and this isn’t what she wants?
“McKinley, baby, I need to see your eyes.” She sniffs and lifts her head.
I cradle her face in the palms, wiping her tears with my thumbs. “Will you marry me?” I ask softly.
Again, the smile—my smile—lights up her face. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” she says through tears. Then her lips land on mine.
Our kiss is passionate and filled with all the things we’ve said and all the things we haven’t. I roll us over and lay her down on the blanket, never breaking our kiss. I reach back for the blanket and pull it up over us. I don’t take it past kissing and neither does she. The moment worked out better than I planned, and I give myself an internal fist bump that this beautiful, loving creature is going to be my wife.
Everyone is asleep by the time we get home. Carol left us a note on the counter saying she has Lexi with her in her room and she moved the pack-n-play.
“I miss her,” I say as we’re climbing in bed.
“Me too. It’s weird to not tuck her in and kiss her goodnight.”
“Yeah, she kind of swoops in and steals your heart when you’re not looking.”
“She does,” he agrees. He pulls the covers over us as we lie in bed face to face. I lift my hand to move his hair out of his eyes and my ring shines in the moonlight.
“We’re getting married,” I say in whispered excitement. I can’t hold it back. I’m going into this eyes wide open, but I’m going to relish the fact this man is going to be my husband and cherish each moment until it ends.
“We’re getting married,” he repeats before his lips capture mine. He starts slow, but I need more. I open for him and he takes the invitation and slides his tongue against mine. We duel and I drink in the taste of him, all the while my hands are roaming over every inch of him I can touch.