My heart pounds against my chest as I watch the tears running down her face and struggle to process what she just said.
I hate tears.
I hate my girlfriend, Misty, for what she just said, the words still ringing in my ears.
“Evan, I just don’t want kids. I don’t want to be a parent. My own parents sure as hell weren’t role models, and it’s just not something I want. I’m getting out of here,” she says through her tears.
“Don’t I have a say in this? That’s my flesh and blood.” I point to her belly. “This is my baby, too.” My voice is pleading. She’s just dropped a bomb on me.
Fuck that!
“Evan, I just . . . I don’t want this.”
“This is not just about you!” I roar. “This baby is a part of me, dammit. Please don’t do this,” I beg her. I’m not above pleading to save my unborn child.
“Evan,” she sobs.
“How did this even happen? I wrap it every damn time. You’re on the pill?” I say it like a question, even though she has always assured me she is, indeed, on birth control.
“Nothing is 100 percent. I don’t know what happened. I take my pill religiously. All I know is I’m pregnant and I don’t want to be!” she screams.
I’m twenty-four years old. Old enough to be a father, although this is not how I’d planned it. I always thought I would be married to the love of my life when I started a family, but the fact of the matter is I’m not. Misty and I have been together for almost a year. I knew she wasn’t the love of my life, but I didn’t care—-until now. I always figured we were having fun together and I had time. Time to find that one girl who consumes me and make her mine. Build a life together. I even thought, with time, Misty could be that girl.
Life has other plans, or maybe I should blame this on my swimmers and the damn condom company, or even the pharmaceutical company, but I know she’s right. Nothing is 100 percent.
“Evan, you know I want out of this town. Small town life is not for me. I’ve been saving. We’ve talked about this.”
She’s right; we have. I think that’s a big part of why she was never the one. I love being on the farm, living in Kentucky. This is my home. Misty has always been honest about her plans to move on. Her parents are both big shot business moguls, who never paid any real attention to her. To hear her tell it, she was never good enough for them.
Running my fingers through my hair, I take a deep breath. “Please don’t do this.” My voice cracks on my plea.
“I just . . . I don’t want to be a mother.” She cries harder.
“How long have you known? Give it a few weeks to sink in. It’s a shock for sure, but that’s our baby.”
“I found out four weeks ago. I’m two months along. I’ve thought about this, Evan, and it’s always the same answer. I don’t want this.”
“I do,” I say with conviction. That baby is a part of me. My mind races for a solution and before I know what’s happening, words are falling from my lips. “Sign over rights to me.”
“What?” She’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Have the baby, then sign the rights over to me. I’ll never ask you for anything. You don’t have to be a part of his or her life, just . . . please, Misty.”
Silence grows between us. The only sound is her soft cries and the rapid beat of my heart against my chest. I know she needs to process what I’ve just said, so I bite my tongue, giving her time.
“You really want this that badly? We’ve never talked about having kids.”
“Yes, and I know we haven’t, but that doesn’t change the fact you are now carrying a part of me and I want that, more than I ever thought possible. Please don’t do this.”
“So, how would this work? You’d just take the baby and what? Go on with your life?” she asks.
“Yes. I’ll make sure you have whatever you need during the pregnancy. We can go to a lawyer and have it written up. You sign over all rights to me and that’s it. You can leave and go wherever you want. I won’t ask you for anything else. Please, Misty.” My voice is soft and pleading. I want to scream at her and demand she not do this, but I can’t. That’s only going to piss her off. Misty has a mind of her own. I need for her to come to the conclusion that this is the best option.
“My parents agree with me; I’m not cut out for motherhood.”
What the fuck? I’ve only met her parents once. They live in Tennessee. Misty moved here to stay with her cousin, Heather, while attending college. She dropped out, but never moved back home. The one and only time I met them, they made sure to tell their daughter what a disappointment she is, as they snubbed their noses at the both of us.
I don’t comment. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. “Please, I can call the lawyer now, get the process started. I’ll make sure you have anything you need.”
“Evan, there will be medical bills, clothes, things for the baby. My parents, they won’t help.”
“I know and I got it—-all of it.” I hold her gaze as I say the words, willing her to keep my baby.
“If I agree to this, I’m leaving as soon as I can. I don’t want this life, Evan.”
I nod. “I know, and I won’t stop you. As long as you’ve signed all the papers, you are free to go and live your life. You won’t hear from me again.” I wipe my sweaty palms against my thighs. She’s considering it, but I have no idea which way she’ll go.
“It needs to be clear in the papers that I want nothing to do with the baby. I know it sounds harsh, but I just . . . can’t.”
“Whatever you want. We can go to the attorney together.”
She paces to the window and stares out at the green pasture, arms crossed over her chest. “Okay,” she whispers.
I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. She said okay. “Thank you, Misty. I’ll call him now and get it set up. Have you been to the doctor? When is your next appointment? I want to be there for all of it.”
“Yeah, I went. I’m supposed to go monthly for check-ups and then more frequently closer to time. I have an appointment this afternoon. I was going to tell them to . . . you know. I just wanted to tell you first.” She turns to look at me. “I never expected this turn of events.”
“Thank you for talking to me first and agreeing to this.” I’m going to be a father. A single father, by choice. I’m grateful she’s agreed to this, but at the same time, I want her out of my life. As soon as the words she was “taking care of it” left her mouth, I hated her.
“I want to be there for your appointments. Anything else you need, you let me know. I’m going to go call the attorney. What time do we need to leave?” I don’t give her room to tell me no.
“I have to be there in an hour.”
“Great, just let me make this call, and then we can go.” I head to my office, leaving her alone in the living room. I just moved into this house six months ago. When I built it, I made sure it was big enough for a growing family. That was always in the back of my mind, but I never dreamed it would be this soon.