Not only had he pushed himself on Morgan, but he hadn’t told his mate that he was a Psi and he hadn’t been careful about shielding his stomach from contact with Morgan’s seed. When Morgan’s essence landed on the crinkled skin that bisected Ricky’s stomach from his bellybutton to his groin, his body absorbed it. Now Ricky was pregnant and alone. Well, not technically alone because he was surrounded by Blue Mountain pack members, but without his mate by his side, Ricky had never felt lonelier.
“Sorry.” Simon Moorehead blushed. “I didn’t mean to stare at your stomach. That was rude.”
“It’s okay.” Ricky shrugged. “A pregnant guy looks weird. I get it.” And the bathroom mirror wouldn’t let him forget it. Neither would his eyes, for that matter. With as round as he was, he couldn’t look anywhere without catching a glimpse of his protruding belly.
“Does it hurt?” Simon closed the door, walked to the bed, and sat beside him.
“Mmm, I’m not sure I’d describe it as painful.” Brow furrowing, he rubbed his hand over his stomach. “It’s definitely not comfortable. My birthing skin feels like it’s on fire from all the stretching and thinning and my back’s pretty sore, especially today, which is why I’m lying down in the middle of the afternoon, but none of that hurts exactly.” At least not as compared to the pain in his chest and in his gut; the ache that served as a constant reminder that he had made a mess of things with his mate.
“Uh-huh.” Simon nodded, teeth digging into his upper lip. “I, uh, don’t want to push and I totally understand if it’s not something you want to talk about.” Swallowing hard, he flicked his gaze away. “When I was younger, before I met Mitch, I came across some people who said things to me and did things to me…” He trembled, closed his eyes, and sucked in a deep breath before opening them. “The point is, I understand that it seems easier to pretend none of it happened, but sometimes it helps to get it out there, you know? And I can listen.”
“It wasn’t like that for me.” Ricky didn’t know precisely what that was because Simon had never told him, but he had danced around the topic enough to hint that someone, or maybe more than one someone, had hurt him. Ricky’s problems, on the other hand, were of his own making.
After pushing his mate for intimacy and not being at all careful in the way he went about getting it, he found himself pregnant in another pack’s territory with the very real possibility that his mate and his uncharacteristically angry pack Alpha would engage in a bloody battle. The only solution he could think of to avoid facing both of those problems was to get Alpha Berger out of Golden Valley. So Ricky snuck out of the office before Morgan came back and then he found Alpha Berger. Physically, he could never force the big Alpha to do anything, but he gained his cooperation by playing on his protective nature, confessing that he was likely pregnant and begging to leave before anyone could find out.
Although that information had driven Alpha Berger further into his fury, it had also done the trick and he had willingly rushed Ricky out of Golden Valley. Then, wanting to ensure that Morgan wouldn’t find him in nearby Purple Sky, Alpha Berger hadn’t gone home. Instead, he had called in favors and found him a place to hide in the far away Blue Mountain pack.
That night, everything had happened too quickly for Ricky to think or make decisions. One moment he was in Golden Valley, crying on Alpha Berger’s shoulder, and seemingly the next, he was in the Blue Mountain Alpha’s house, far away from everything and everyone he had ever known. Exhausted, he slept nearly nonstop for weeks, dreams of his mate comforting him. But once his body adjusted to a new equilibrium, Ricky was stuck living in the waking world, where Morgan wasn’t smiling at him, and his problems, like his stomach, kept growing.
He should have tried harder to explain what happened that night. He shouldn’t have run so far away. He shouldn’t have stayed this long. But he had been too anxious to find the right words to say to the right people, especially to Morgan, and every day that passed made that task more insurmountable. Now he had let it go too long.
“Okay, then.” Simon nodded. “How about you tell me how it was for you?”
Eyes glued to the ceiling, Ricky said, “I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it.” The right thing to do was to face his mate, admit to the consequences of his actions, and ask for forgiveness. That was obvious. But when Ricky opened his mouth to practice the words, nothing came out, or at least not anything useful. “Sorry I chased you down when you were hiding from me and then threw myself at you and insisted on having sex with you without mentioning that I’m a Psi, which if you didn’t know, means I can get knocked up from the exact type of sex I pretty much forced you into and also, when you shifted and went for a run, I shouldn’t have snuck away like a criminal, and oh by the way, we’re going to have a baby,” didn’t seem like a successful first conversation with the man he was supposed to honor. If he called and tried to give that speech, Morgan would hang up on him before he could finish.