True to his word, Reg showered quickly and then came to bed wearing sweats cut off above the knees and a T-shirt with the sleeves removed. It was an outfit Jeremy had seen him in frequently, but for the first time, he gave in to his urge to look at Reg’s thick, muscular thighs, his corded arms, decorated with a sexy tattoo, and his broad, hard chest.
“You gotta quit looking at me like that, JJ.”
“Like what?” Jeremy asked without moving his gaze from Reg’s long cock, clearly visible underneath the thin shorts.
“Like you want to eat me alive,” Reg answered as he crawled onto the mattress. “Because I really, really want to let you.”
That comment immediately made Jeremy think about what it would be like to go down on Reg. Could he do it? Could he take another man in his mouth? Could he lick Reg’s balls and suck his dick? His cock jerked and filled in response to the raw fantasy, giving a clear answer to his question.
“I feel so stupid,” Jeremy admitted, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Why?”
The bed dipped and Jeremy knew Reg was right next to him. The fingers that began combing through his hair confirmed it.
“I’m almost thirty-two years old,” Jeremy said. “How is it possible I never knew this about myself?”
“This?” Reg repeated questioningly.
“Me and you. The way I feel.” Jeremy opened his eyes and met Reg’s gaze. He pointed his finger back and forth between them. “This.”
Nodding in understanding, Reg said, “Well, I’m not sure anyone except you can answer that question with any degree of accuracy, but if you’re asking my opinion, I think it’s because you’ve always had so many people in your life telling you how to act, telling you who you are, that you never had the chance to get to know yourself.”
“What kind of person doesn’t know himself?” Jeremy said, his voice high-pitched and hysterical. He covered his face with his hands. “God, I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” Reg said firmly. “And you’re not the first person in his early thirties who’s still learning who he is.” He peeled Jeremy’s hands off his face. “Look at me, JJ.”
Jeremy shook his head and kept his eyes closed. It was childish, he knew, but he couldn’t bring himself to see Reg’s expression. The man had known who he was since he was a teen, had lived his life openly and honestly. No matter what he said, Jeremy was sure Reg had to think he was pathetic.
“Don’t hide from me. I’m your friend, and I won’t judge you.”
Trusting Reg, Jeremy slowly opened his eyes and lowered his palms. “You’re the only person alive who wouldn’t judge me for this.” He shook his head ruefully. “I can only imagine the headlines and the late-night talk show jokes. Nobody would think The Jeremy Jameson is something special if they knew who I really am.”
“Jokes are meant to sell commercials, and headlines are meant to sell magazines. None of them mean anything.” Reg cupped the side of his neck and massaged his nape. “And quit being so hard on yourself. So you’re not perfect. Who is? Hell, even Mick Jagger shits.”
“I’m a better singer than Jagger,” Jeremy grumbled.
Reg laughed. “And more modest too.”
“I wasn’t trying to brag, but it’s true!”
“See? That’s exactly my point. You sit here beating yourself up in every way except your music. That’s the one thing you’re sure of, the one thing you’re quick to defend.” Reg gazed at Jeremy with warmth and affection. “You’re a musician.” He brushed his fingers through Jeremy’s hair, something Jeremy loved, which, of course, Reg knew. “It’s your calling, and you’ve spent your entire life focused on it. Nothing else mattered to you except your music, including your personal life.” He grinned and shrugged. “So you neglected the small stuff. Lots of people do it. No bigs.”
“Small stuff?” Jeremy said incredulously. “Reg, I’ve spent my entire adult life dating women and thinking I couldn’t connect with any of them because I didn’t have it in me, that it wasn’t something my lifestyle had room for.”
Reg stopped moving, his hand frozen in place and his expression serious. “And what do you think now?”
“Well, I guess now I wonder if maybe the reason they weren’t interested in anything except what I could do for their careers was because I wasn’t really interested in them. Maybe that’s why we didn’t connect.”
“And about the other?” Reg asked, his voice sounding rough.
“Uh, what other?” Jeremy crinkled his brow in confusion.
“Does your lifestyle have room to connect with someone, JJ?” Reg gulped and looked at Jeremy intently. “Do you have it in you?”
It was a fair question given Jeremy’s dating history and everything he’d ever said about relationships, and his parents’ relationship histories and everything he’d ever said they’d said about relationships, and most rumors about most rock stars’ relationship histories and…. It was a fair question. But Jeremy would have thought the answer was clear.