“I know, baby,” I said softly against his hair. “I can see that. And I’m so sorry I made it worse.”
I stood up and carried him to bed before pulling both our clothes off until we were down to our underwear. We slid under the covers and came back together in a twist of limbs. Finn fell asleep while the sheets were still cool against our skin, and I held him for a long time, thinking back over everything he’d said.
And everything I’d said.
I’d exposed my feelings which left me feeling raw, but I’d also seen the truth of his own feelings, how the harsh smack of my rejection had hit him after I’d told him he was beautiful. How could I have done that?
I pressed kisses against the top of his head and murmured my apologies even though he wasn’t awake to hear them. For those few moments in the dark calm of the summer night, I let myself wonder if there was any kind of future an almost forty-year-old sheriff could possibly cobble together with a twenty-four-year-old superstar deep in the middle of a high-profile acting career.
It was impossible. How could I even daydream about it? I wanted nothing to do with LA ever again, and Finn would never want to leave it.
I ran my fingers through the longer hair on top of his head, feeling the silken locks slide along my skin. What if I could give him a temporary reprieve from the demanding life he lived back home? What if I could be a safe haven for him for just a little while?
At some point I fell asleep and was awakened later to the insistent press of a hard dick against my stomach. I reached down and stroked it, pulling a sleepy groan out of Finn that made me smile.
“Feeling a little better?” I mumbled into his hair.
“Mm. Feeling a big sheriff in my bed,” he said, running hands over my chest and shoulders as he shifted to lie on top of me. He was warm from sleep, and I wanted to hold him there and drink in the sexy feel of him for a little longer.
“You’re definitely making things bigger,” I admitted, pressing my own dick up into his.
Finn seemed to remember the seriousness from earlier because his playful, sexy mood suddenly disappeared, and his weary expression returned. “Are you just here to—”
“No. Whatever you were going to say, please don’t say it,” I urged. “I get why you’d think that, but… no. I want to be with you right now, even if there’s no sex involved.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying you don’t want sex?”
I suddenly found myself caught in a trap. If I said I wanted him, he might think I was only using him for sex. If I said I didn’t want sex, well, then I’d be a fucking liar.
I opened my mouth to respond but had no idea what to say. Of course I wanted sex with him. Who wouldn’t?
Finn began giggling. “The look on your face right now.”
Brat.
I rolled him over until I was on top of him, pressing my own hard shaft into his inner thigh. “Are you saying you don’t want sex?” I growled before leaning in to suck on his earlobe.
He sucked in a breath. “N-no. Not saying that. Not saying it at all. I want the sex. All the sex.”
I moved to his mouth and tasted his lips. They were full and sweet, and when I felt them curve into a smile against mine, I felt an odd little flip in my gut.
I reached down and shoved his underwear away until I could grip his dick and stroke it again. He was manscaped in a fussy way like some of the men in LA I’d hooked up with. I tried not to imagine who else had seen him like this. The thought of it made me want to snarl and snap.
Finn fumbled into my own shorts and clasped my cock until we were jacking each other off and panting into each other’s mouths.
“Lube,” he said on a gasp, rolling away to grab a tube from the nightstand. “Here.”
I slicked my hands up and grabbed both of our cocks together, staring down at the sight of them rubbing hard against each other. The edge of his tip caught against mine with every stroke.
“Fuck,” I groaned. It was quick and hot, a slick frot that had us humping wildly into my grip until both of us cried out and came in my hand.
When I finally caught my breath, I let out a laugh. “That was embarrassingly fast.”
Finn closed his eyes and grinned, clearly enjoying his afterglow. “It would have been faster if I’d let myself peek at my dick in your big hand.”
I kissed his forehead and pushed up so I could clean my hands off and find a washcloth for his stomach. While I waited for the sink water to heat up, I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a rat’s nest, and I had beard burn across my neck and chest, but both of those paled in comparison to the big dumb grin on my face.