He got into the McLaren and sped off before the oxygen returned to fill my lungs. His shaking voice betrayed his words as lies, and it was like he’d stripped me bare and left me bleeding on the side of the road. Why did I feel this insane connection to him, and why did part of me think I’d gotten him all wrong?
It was like there were two parts of me battling each other. One thought this kid was a spoiled dilettante I needed to protect my heart from, but the other… the other saw this incredibly strong and fragile man who hid his damned light under a bushel. A kindred soul who was afraid to let anyone see the real person underneath the mask in case the rest of the world found him lacking.
I scrambled behind the wheel of my SUV and sped off after him, hoping like hell it wasn’t too late to rip the bushel away and bask in the light of the real Finn Heller.
When I pulled up beside his car in front of the chalet, I saw a man on his front porch. Finn got to him first and confronted him.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t invite you here.” Finn looked both exhausted and annoyed. I’d begun to get a feel for what he must go through on a regular basis. I remembered him telling me last night that everyone wanted a piece of him. He’d sounded so alone. And so tired.
And I’d left him like he was nothing. Like I, too, had only used him for what it would get me.
I felt like an ass. I had to make it right, but first I had to get rid of this player.
The stranger was all smiles and hands in the air. “It’s cool, bro. I could tell you just needed a little privacy, and I respect that. I figured I’d make it easy on you by showing up here. Crys’s people hooked me up with a ride and told me which of these little buildings you were in.”
I put my hand on my weapon and walked over. “There a problem here?”
Finn looked at me with reluctant relief. His chin began to wobble, but he did his best to hold it together. “A simple misunderstanding. Jado is going to call a ride to take him back to wherever he’s staying.”
Once the man saw my uniform, he did an awkward kind of double take and held up his hands again. “Look, man, I don’t want any problems. I just thought…”
Finn said, “He’s not here for you. He’s here to get me to sign some papers about the incident the other night. But still. You need to go.”
Jado nodded his head. “Of course. No problem. Catch you later. I’ll just… walk out to the road and wait for a ride.”
“Be careful,” I couldn’t help but add. “Come back if you have any problems getting home safe.”
He shot me an appreciative smile and headed down the drive. I turned back to Finn. “Please give me a few minutes of your time,” I said in a low voice. “Then, if you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”
He blew out a breath and nodded before leading me into the chalet. After he kicked off his shoes, he turned on the fire and threw himself down on the little love seat, pulling the quilt around his shoulders like he was cold.
I closed and locked the door behind me before taking the chair next to the small sofa. I clasped my hands between my knees and leaned toward him, fighting every desire I had to touch some part of him and make a physical connection.
“I’m not used to trusting people,” I began. “It’s not an excuse, but… I, ah…” God, I felt like a fool. Dec, get your shit together. “I’ve never had this feeling like… like I needed another person so desperately for no apparent reason.” I gestured to my gut. “Like if I didn’t find a way to… to be with you, to touch you, to find out more about you, I might just lose the fucking plot. I panicked, Finn. I’m so fucking sorry. Please. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”
As I spoke, his eyes filled with tears until they ran unchecked down his cheeks. My heart squeezed tight enough to steal my breath away, something that seemed to happen a lot around him. I didn’t understand it, but I was tired of trying to figure it out. I just wanted to hold him and stop fighting against the need to rationalize it.
“Please come here,” I whispered. “And let me hold you. That’s all. Just that would be enough.”
He uncurled from the quilt and climbed over into my lap, tucking his wet face into my neck and wrapping his shaking arms around me. “I’m so tired, Dec,” he said.