I liked spice.
Not that I knew what it was like to have spice in the bedroom. Other than online, of course. With myself. But my real-life experience was limited to a sum total of nothing much with other people.
I got up the nerve to turn around and lean my forehead against the soft cotton of his shirt just below his collarbones. My head tucked perfectly under his bearded chin, and when his strong arms came around me, it felt as natural as breathing.
“I don’t think I’m ready for dirty things,” I admitted softly to his chest. “But just knowing you would want that is… really nice.”
I mentally kicked myself. Nice? That was an incredible understatement.
But it was nice. It was so nice, I suddenly felt like I could fall asleep in his arms and sleep for days. Like I could finally let go of carrying all the weight of being me and just… let him take the watch for a little while.
And that feeling was terrifying. Because I knew from experience the minute you let your guard down with someone, they held too much power over you. Besides, there was a fine line between protecting and dominating, and a man like Sam Rigby had “domination” written all over him. I wasn’t about to make that mistake again no matter how tempting it was.
I inhaled one last breath of him and then fortified myself before stepping back and plastering on a smile.
“Thank you for coming over and for helping with the packages. Hiram usually comes to pick them up around four thirty, so he’ll grab them from the front porch, no problem. And I have loads of other work to do on the farm, so I really need to get out there. It’s time to plant the cumin seeds so they can flower. The flowers are really good at attracting beneficial insects which is why I like to put them in fairly early in the process.”
Even though I heard myself talking too much, I couldn’t stop. I huffed out a desperate laugh. “They attract parasitoid wasps and ladybird beetles, so I plant it near crops that have problems with caterpillars and aphids. But I learned that if you water it too much, cumin can get root rot which isn’t good.” My breathing was getting shallower as I continued talking. Sam’s face remained unreadable. His attention was focused on me, but I had no idea what he was thinking. I continued blathering on. “Obviously. And it has a longer growing season which helps me spread out the planting and harvesting.”
I swallowed and tried gluing my lips closed. I failed. “And then I need to run by the shop to… do… things.”
Sam finally nodded once before speaking. “I make a really good cumin chicken and rice dish. Mikey taught me how to make it, so you know it’s good. Can I make it for you tomorrow night? I’ll have to use your kitchen.”
I stared at him. Hadn’t he heard what I’d just said? “You want to cook dinner for me? Here?”
He nodded again. “I mean… you’re welcome to come to Rockley Lodge, but I would prefer to have dinner with just the two of us. It’s up to you. Whichever makes you more comfortable is fine with me.”
Did he think cooking me dinner was going to lead to the dirty things he wanted to do to me? It wasn’t. There was no way I would put myself in a position of making a fool out of myself in front of a man who probably had advanced certifications in dirty sexual acts.
I was still staring at him. Finally, Sam turned and looked around the kitchen before noticing a little pad of paper and pencil on the counter where the house phone still sat attached to the wall even though it didn’t work anymore. He walked over to it and scribbled something down on the pad before turning back to me.
“That’s my number. I’m going to be here at six tomorrow to start cooking. If you decide you don’t want me to come, just call or text me, okay? Otherwise, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He started to take a step toward me like maybe he wanted to mark his departure with a kiss or handshake. But he stopped himself and smiled instead. “Enjoy your time in the garden, Truman.”
As he turned to leave, I finally found my voice. Rather, stupid Truman found my voice.
“You can use my cumin! I have… I have several kinds. Wild black cumin harvested by hand in Afghanistan. It’s probably my favorite. And it has incredible health benefits.” I ticked them off on my fingers. “Antidiabetic, antihypertensive, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, neuroprotective, antimicrobial, antifungal… The list goes on and on. Even the prophet Mohammed said it could heal everything but death.”
I bit my lip to shut up the info dump, but when I saw Sam’s eyes spark with interest in what I was saying, I stopped biting my lip and allowed myself to smile a little.