I nodded and tried to come up with a tear or two. “You did. And I didn’t listen. And now I feel so stupid. You’ve always been there for me. Through everything. When the Stanner brothers beat me up behind the shop that time, you were the one who brought me flowers and my favorite salad from Bolo’s Market. You looked out for me and helped guide me on how to stay out of trouble. I just feel like… I feel like…” I sniffed and looked away.
Barney’s hand came down on my shoulder and squeezed as if trying to reassure me. It took all of my self-control not to shudder under his touch. No wonder my gut was always trying to warn me away from hooking up with him. He was an awful human being. My body had known it, even if my brain hadn’t.
I glanced at him quickly and then darted my eyes away. “I feel ashamed of how stupid I’ve been,” I whispered, and it was the first true thing I’d said since he’d arrived.
“Sweet pea. We all make mistakes. Of course I understand. You’re young. You’re easily led astray.”
I forced myself to smile wanly. “I just hate that I made you have to go so far out of your way to guide me back to the right path. You tried so hard to get me to realize how good you were for me, and I didn’t listen. I abused your trust in me.”
“Sometimes love means doing the hard thing, Truman. And I love you enough to do the hard things.”
“I can see that now. I see how much you love me.” I looked at him and tried to appear lovestruck. “You loved me enough to come up with an amazing plan. And I messed it up. I messed it all up.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you tried to set a little fire to get my attention, I’d failed to ship out a big delivery of essential oils that day. If I’d just done my job instead of being lazy, the fire would have never gotten out of hand. Oh, how you must have been so upset! I feel terrible.” I let my true feelings of regret and anger bring real tears to my eyes. “It could have been contained if not for my stupid, stupid procrastination. It’s all my fault. All you wanted to do was…” I faked a big gulping sob, and Barney stared at me for a few beats.
I assumed he was trying to determine whether or not to continue trying to pin the arson on Sam or accept my understanding and let it be.
This was the moment of truth.
Barney finally pulled me in for a hug.
“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay. There, now. It’s all over. It is what it is. Although that certainly does explain why it got out of hand.”
That wasn’t enough. It wasn’t an actual confession. I needed more.
“But then the motorcycle crash in the mountains. I feel like I misunderstood what I was supposed to do. Run? Should I have stayed there and made sure he was standing by the bike? I felt so stupid, Barney. I didn’t know what you wanted me to do. Tell me what I should have done.” I cried on his shoulder.
“Of course you should have run, sweet pea. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I simply wanted to scare him away from here and remind you how unsafe and unreliable a man like him is. You did the right thing. Of course you did. There, now. Stop the waterworks. It’s alright now.”
“After the time in front of the shop, I wasn’t sure. But I should have known you didn’t want to hurt anyone. I knew it had to be a mistake.”
“I wasn’t expecting those other two to interfere,” he said peevishly. “And I certainly wasn’t expecting some imbecile driver behind me to honk and scare me to death.”
“I’m relieved to know that,” I said softly. “Because when I think about how close I came to being in the shop the night of the fire…” I shivered.
“I would have never set that fire if you’d been there. Surely you know that. I’m not stupid, Truman, and that is hardly the first fire I’ve set.”
Suddenly, I remembered the timing of Patrick Stanner’s shed burning to the ground. It had happened a week after the Stanner brothers had beat me up behind my shop.
I pulled out of Barney’s arms and stared at him. “You burned down Patrick Stanner’s shed.”
The glint in his eyes was a combination of pride and pure malice. “He hurt my sweet pea.”
“Did you… did you really do all of these things… for me?” I couldn’t believe it. How was it possible I’d caused all of these horrible events in Aster Valley after already being the town pariah from years ago?