“It’s a hundred thousand dollars, June. I can’t accept it.”
She nodded. “I understand why you feel that way. You’re proud, and I get it. When Rudy and I first got together, his parents tried to give us the down payment for our house. I was very uncomfortable with it because I was so dead set on proving myself. I was fresh out of nursing school with a good job, and Rudy had started teaching at the community college. I thought their offer was a statement that we couldn’t afford it on our own.”
I knew the feeling. I felt like I’d spent years trying to prove myself to myself and others, and now here I was being treated like a charity case.
She met my eyes. “My mother-in-law saw right off the bat I wasn’t going to let Rudy accept the gift. So she looked at me and said very serenely, ‘Gifts aren’t always for the recipient, June. It would make us very happy if you’d let us be a small part of your future this way.’ And, man, that has stuck with me, it sure has.”
“But he doesn’t want to be part of my future,” I said, hoping the words I said weren’t true, but needing to believe them anyway in order to protect myself.
“Mm, maybe so. But he cares about your future regardless. He wants you to be at ease and go through life with one less burden.”
I let out a laugh. “It’s a hell of a burden he’s trying to lift. I don’t even know what my life would look like without any student loans to pay.”
“Talk to him before you make a decision. Give him a chance to plead his case. If nothing else, it will give you an idea of how important this is to him.”
She was right. “Thank you,” I said, leaning in to give her a hug. I felt better after speaking to her about it, but my stomach was still low-key wobbly the rest of the day.
Thankfully, when I got home, I was able to catch him on a video call. He was still in bed. His hair was messy, and the hotel sheets were rumpled. He looked amazing, and it made my heart squeeze.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said in a low, grumbly voice. “How was work?”
“It was fine until—”
His eyes widened as he remembered something. “Wait. Oh shit. I remember now. You got the package I sent. Please don’t tell me you’re calling to say you can’t come to LA for the concert. Because if not, I’m canceling it and coming straight to Aster Valley instead.”
I smiled at Dillie, who was licking her paw on the back of the sofa. I couldn’t believe he thought the most important part of that package was a trip to see a concert. “I can come to the concert. I already got my shifts covered.”
He let out a breath and ran fingers through his messy hair. “Thank god. I’m barely keeping it together right now. I’ve never… I’ve never missed anyone like this before. Is that okay for me to admit? I don’t want to scare you off.”
“Of course it’s okay. I feel the same way. But, about the loan payoff…”
His eyes stayed focused on mine. “I know it’s creepy. Is it creepy? I’m sorry. But, before you say anything… shit, I don’t know how to make this case. You’re better at arguing than I am.”
“It’s too much,” I said, smiling apologetically. “Way too much.”
“I have more money than I could ever spend in a lifetime,” he said. “Please. Please let me do this for you. No matter what happens down the road with us, I just want your life to be easy and happy.”
“And I just want to see you in person about a thousand times more than I want my student loans paid off.”
Gent’s face turned serious. “I want to take care of you.”
My heart took flight. “It’s not fair. I can’t reciprocate. I don’t want us to be so… unbalanced.”
He laughed and looked up at the ceiling before staring back into the phone camera with an intense gaze. “If you only knew the gifts you’ve already given me…”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve spent a lot of time thinking. About us. About my life. About what I really want.”
My chest was going to explode. “What do you really want?”
9
Gent
I was so tired. Never before had I felt so tired deep in my bones. The effort of craving something and not being able to have it was exhausting. I thought about Winter all day and night. His voice, his laughter, his passionate way of telling a story. His warm skin and gentle touch. His fat dick and tight ass. All of him. I craved it around the clock.
Was this what it was like to finally fall in love with someone?