“Okay.”
His face fell. “Shit. Are you serious?”
I shrugged. “I figured if I was going to pop my flying cherry, I might as well choose an exciting flight for it. Heart attack and engine failure at the same time, in addition being pretty sure the pilot was the stranger who popped another cherry of mine too. At least I have a story to tell my grandchildren.”
Jack snorted softly and pulled me in for a hug. “I’m so fucking sorry. God. You probably never want to get in a plane again.”
That was an understatement. “Well, it helps that you’re the one flying it,” I admitted. “That’s why I didn’t want to fly home by myself. At least this time if I have a breakdown, the only person who’ll see the ugly cry is Brenda.”
“Do you have any Xanax or anything?”
I shook my head. “Actually, studies show that while taking those meds can lower your anxiety, they actually exacerbate your fear of flying in the long run. Seventy-one percent of people in one study who took Xanax on a flight had significantly increased anxiety, an increased heart rate, a desire to leave the plane, and panic on the next flight they took.”
Why did I turn into Professor Facts and Figures every time I got nervous? “Sorry,” I muttered. “Ignore me.”
He kissed me on the forehead and then met my eyes. “Don’t be sorry. I’m a pilot. That’s great information for me to have. Is there anything I can do to help alleviate your fear?”
When Jack had told me about his previous relationships, he’d always made himself out to be the bad guy. Too ambitious to make things work with Adam, not educated or prestigious enough for Rico, not mature enough to commit to Ty. I wasn’t quite sure why he took all that on himself, but he was wrong. His concern for me was proof of how thoughtful he was. Plus, he’d treated me like a precious treasure the entire time we’d spent together in Goose Bay, not to mention how tenderly he’d made love to me the first night we’d gotten together so many months ago.
“Just knowing you’ll be there in case anything happens is good,” I said. “I downloaded some podcasts to listen to in hopes it’ll help distract me.”
“Okay, well, all you have to do is speak up if there’s anything you need. I can tell Brenda would love to mother you if given half a chance, so let her take care of you too.”
We finished packing and made our way to the airport. Once on board the plane, I strapped in and tried to concentrate on some focused breathing techniques for relaxation. I’d already downed a couple of bottles of water to stay hydrated and put in my earbuds to play some of my favorite songs until we were in the air. I closed my eyes and tried to float away with the music in my ears. All of the thunking noises and vibrations associated with closing hatches and doors made me shake even worse until I was regretting not having Xanax after all. Future Teo might have hated me for it, but present Teo would have adored me.
Someone’s hands grasped mine, and I opened my eyes to see Jack squatting in front of me. His handsome face was lit with a giant smile. God, he was stunning. I still couldn’t believe a man like this would give a man like me the time of day, much less time with his naked body. “Hey, I brought you something.” He pulled out a handful of individually wrapped candies. They were little yellow balls that looked lemony. “These are pineapple hard candies from Hawaii. They’re one of my favorite things, and every time I visit there, I stock up. I want you to suck on one of these while we’re taking off. Close your eyes and think of warm beaches and tropical breezes. Feel the sand between your toes and hear the whoosh of the ocean.”
I took the candy from his outstretched palm. “Thank you. I’d ask you to divert the plane there, but that would make the flight ten times longer, and I can’t handle that right now.”
He squeezed my hands and stood, reaching down to run fingers through my hair before returning to the cockpit. I wasn’t even sure he was aware of how often he ran his fingers through my hair. Whenever we lay together or snuggled up to watch television, his fingers always found their way into my hair. I loved it and preened like a cat every time he did it.
I took a deep breath and popped a candy into my mouth, hoping like hell it had Xanax-like side effects.
16
Jack
I’d already informed Brenda about Teo’s fear of flying so she could keep a special eye on him and make sure he was hanging in there. It didn’t keep me from checking in with her several times during the flight though. By the time we crossed into US airspace, I was pretty sure Nate and Brenda both knew something was up between me and the client.