She smiled and hummed her agreement. “You know I never want to get in your business, Jack. But I don’t want you to turn around one day and have regrets.”
I looked up at her and saw the truth of her words in her eyes. “What’s your biggest regret? Not settling down? Not having a family?”
Elaine shook her head. “Falling in love with someone who was in love with someone else. I wasted twenty years thinking he’d change his mind. By the time I met Raymond, I was past my prime. They wouldn’t even let us adopt.”
Heavy silence fell between us until she finally flapped her hand at me. “That’s not to say we didn’t take advantage of our independence. Did I ever tell you about the time we went on one of those spiritual retreats in South America where they give you psychedelic drugs?”
And just like that, she was off on another adventure story. The subject of conversation was officially changed, but her words stayed with me longer than she probably realized.
Pretending with NurseTee had broken something open in me, and Elaine had looked right at the pile of leftover debris that spilled out and pinpointed the problem.
I was lonely. And maybe all of the women in my life were right.
Maybe I was ready for more.
Later that night, I pulled out Jefferson Plenty’s card and gave him a call.
7
Teo
It had been almost four months since the night with FlyGuy that I still couldn’t get out of my damned head. I’d entered into this odd sort of reality where I worked hard and flirted happily with Chris during the day but fantasized about my mysterious stranger at night.
At first, I wrote it off as a byproduct of my first sexual experience. Of course I carried a little torch for the first man I’d ever slept with. From everything I’d ever heard, that was normal, especially if the first time had been amazing. But then I began to wonder if there was more to it than that. Was it possible I’d had some kind of special chemistry with FlyGuy? The question began to nag at me until one night, after a late night of drinking and watching a late basketball game at Chris’s place, I got the bright idea to sign up for the app again to see if I could find FlyGuy and arrange another night together.
When I couldn’t find his username anywhere on the app, I chalked it up to having had too much to drink. But in the light of the following day, there was still no one with the username FlyGuy. I’d started a new account, so it couldn’t be an issue of him blocking me. After scrolling and searching until my eyes bled, I finally deleted my account again and uninstalled the damned thing.
“Why are you growling at your phone?” Chris mumbled, wandering out from his bedroom in nothing but low-hanging pajama pants. I glanced over at Jay, who was still dead asleep on the couch opposite the one I’d slept on.
“Nothing. You have any eggs? I’m going to make some if you do.”
Chris scratched his stomach, drawing my eyes to the dark blond hair of his happy trail. He was sexy as hell, always had been. As he walked past me to the fridge, I was blessed with a view of his round ass and muscular back. The faded silver scar on his right shoulder blade was from the time he’d shimmied under a fence to retrieve our football from a neighbor’s yard. He was so familiar and beloved, it hurt.
“I’m taking Grandpa Banks to see Hattie during our lunch break today,” I said before standing up from the barstool to join him by the stove. “Do you want to come with us?”
When I brushed past him, I leaned in to catch a whiff of his scent. He smelled different than normal, like he was using a new soap or aftershave.
“Nah. I have to work through lunch. We’re trying to close that hospital in Frankfurt, and I have some more work to do with the legal team on the contract.”
I reached out to run a finger along his lower back above the waistband of his pajama pants, but he swatted my hand away with a hiss. “Jay is right there.”
My face flooded with heat. “So? He’s asleep. Also, he’s gay. It’s not like he’s going to judge you for—”
“Knock it off, Teo,” he snapped in a harsh whisper. “We agreed to just friends for now, remember?”
I glanced at the sleeping form of our friend before looking back at Chris. I noticed the front of his pajama pants were tented which was sending me a totally different message than the one from his mouth.
“I’ve been working at Banks for three months,” I said softly. “I thought you said—”