My anger turned to fear.
“What’s going on?” I said, my voice barely a whisper. Which, ironically, got Jake’s attention.
“Oz, you need to go,” he said quietly. “Go back to the lodge and stay there for a few days, okay? It’ll be safer that way.”
“Safer? What are you talking about? What do I need to be safe from, Jake?”
But he didn’t answer me. I let out a strangled laugh and shook my head as I realized none of this had to do with him being mad at me for lying about Laird. “It’s bad, isn’t it?” I asked. “It’s not just some rift with your family.” Jake stopped what he was doing but didn’t look at me. “I thought maybe you had a falling out with them and that’s why you weren’t in contact with them anymore.” I laughed again, but there was no humor in it. “I kept coming up with these stupid scenarios for why you’d stopped practicing medicine–I mean, real TV drama plot-worthy shit, you know? Like you lost a patient you loved or you were in some kind of love triangle thing at work or… fuck, Jake, please just fucking talk to me.”
“I can’t,” he said quietly, his voice breaking just a little.
“So that’s it?” I said. “You’re just going to go? I don’t get an explanation? Or even a fucking goodbye?”
He didn’t respond. Just stuffed a few more items into his backpack and slung it over his shoulder.
He kept the gun out.
When he went to walk past me, I stepped in his path. “Don’t do this,” I whispered, then I pulled his head down and covered his mouth with mine. I poured everything I had into that one kiss. He was stiff for several beats, then his arm went around me and he dragged me flush against his body. There was a thud as his backpack hit the floor, then his other arm wrapped around me. I could feel the gun against my back, but I didn’t care. What I cared about was that he was kissing me desperately and holding onto me so tight I was certain he wouldn’t let go.
But he did.
I could tell it took effort for him to tear his mouth from mine, but when he went to step back, I grabbed him by the back of the neck.
“Please, Jake.”
He let out a soft breath, then relaxed against me and pressed his forehead to mine.
“I can’t, Oz. I can’t lose you.”
I wanted to laugh because his words made no sense. But deep in my gut, I knew what he was talking about. The gun, the separation from his family, the mention of the person he’d lost–he’d said it was his fault.
“Stay, Jake. We’ll figure it out,” I promised. “Whatever you’re running from, we’ll get help.”
For the briefest of moments, I thought my words got through to him, but when he stiffened in my hold and stepped back, I knew he was beyond my reach. I felt something deep inside of me tear wide open. I dropped my hand but ended up closing it around his wrist.
The wrist of the hand with the gun.
Jake used his free hand to grab his backpack. I expected him to rip his hand free of my hold, but what he did was worse.
So much worse.
He stepped into me and brushed his lips against my temple, then dropped his mouth to my ear. “You have to let me go, Oz. If you love me, you’ll do this for me.”
I choked back a sob and shook my head, but my fingers loosened of their own accord. “I do,” I bit out as I closed my eyes. “So much, Jake.”
He kissed me softly again. “I know, baby. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Go live your dream, sweetheart. Live it for the both of us.”
I let the tears fall as I opened my hand to release him. Then he was gone. But everything in my being screamed at me not to let this happen, and I turned around seconds later. I scooped Boo up and ran for the door. I reached the front porch just as Jake stepped off the bottom step.
“Jake,” I called, but he held up his hand. It was then that I noticed how stiff he’d gone. His eyes scanned the surrounding forest and then he dropped his head just a little, like he was listening for something.
I tried to listen myself, but all I heard was the wind blowing through the ice-covered trees.
I was about to call to Jake again when I finally heard it.
Tires crunching over snow. Jake began slowly backing up the porch steps as his eyes went to the bend in the driveway.
I told myself it was probably just a worried Xander coming to check on us, but when a black SUV appeared, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and my stomach dropped out.