Jesus, what the hell was I doing? How had I gone from casually dating and having lots of hot monkey sex with Oz to dreaming up the perfect way to propose to him and envisioning where we’d build our life together?
We had no life together. We had a little over a month left at best. I needed to be figuring out how to pull back from the relationship, not lose myself even deeper into it.
“Okay, show time,” Lucky declared as he marched down the hall toward us. “Remember—”
“No dallying,” Xander and I said at the same time. We followed Lucky to the sunroom and my eyes fell on Xander’s aunt Lolly. Her eyes went all soft and warm at the sight of Xander.
“Oh, my boy, you look so handsome,” she said, and then she was hugging him. But she kept it brief and whispered, “He only allotted me fifteen seconds for the hug.”
By he, I assumed she was referring to Lucky, who was standing off to the side. He was still talking into his microphone, which was, in fact, plugged in. He caught my eye and jerked his chin toward the door that led outside.
I stifled a smile and held my arm out to Lolly. “Ms. Reed, if I may have the pleasure,” I said.
“Oh,” she said, blushing prettily and then taking my arm with her fuzzy purple gloves. I glanced over my shoulder at Xander, but saw his eyes were no longer on us.
They were rightfully on his fiancé who was making his way down the opposite hallway. Bennett was dressed in a dark suit like Xander’s, but instead of a burgundy bowtie, he had a hunter green one. They both wore formal wool overcoats, with the scarves Oz had made pulling the entire coordinated look together. How in the world had Oz known?
Aiden was by Bennett’s side, leading Bear on a silver leash shining against the dog’s thick black coat. The big dog plodded along the roll of red carpet Lucky must have put down the makeshift aisle to keep people from having to walk through any snow or ice. A tiny silver pillow peeked out from the collar at the back of Bear’s neck.
When Bennett reached the door to the sunroom, Xander held out his hand to him. Their eyes shone and when Bennett walked into his embrace, I saw Xander say something to him that had Bennett nodding. I couldn’t hear the words, but I didn’t really need to. Their actions spoke volumes.
I heard a throat clear and saw Lucky scowling at me.
“Oh, right, sorry,” I said, then led Lolly out the door. Music was already playing outside and the dozen or so guests had taken their seats. The minister was waiting at the end of the short path in a gazebo that overlooked a small frozen pond. Twinkling lights lined the path as well as the roof of the gazebo. The air was cold, and I could see the occasional snowflake falling here and there from the almost cloudless sky dancing with stars. Despite the chill, it was the perfect backdrop for Xander and Bennett to start this new chapter in their lives.
As I neared the gazebo, my eyes settled on Oz, who was sitting between Ash and Zoey in the front row. Boo was on his lap, wearing a sparkly little dress that Oz had sewn just for her that morning. I’d still been lying in bed as I’d listened to him telling Boo how beautiful she’d look for her man, and in that moment, I’d wished that every morning could be like that.
But I knew mornings wouldn’t be enough. There weren’t enough hours in the day for me to get my fill of Oz.
I was coming to realize that was because there was no such thing.
I’d crave him whether he was lying in bed next to me, talking to his dog about absolutely nothing, watching TV and scoffing over the abhorrent clothing choices, or doing nothing more than looking up from one of his designs to find me so he could do a visual check-in with me.
Oz looked me up and down, and I could practically hear his thoughts. I sent him a little wink, which had him smiling. I escorted Lolly to her seat before going to stand in my spot inside the gazebo. Aiden walked down the aisle next, leading Bear. Not surprisingly, his gaze lingered on his fiancé, despite the fresh flowers, poinsettias, twinkle lights, and holly decorating the gorgeous space.
The look the two men shared made a sharp stab of envy go through me. What would it be like if I could look at Oz like that? If I didn’t have to temper my words and my touches when I was around him? What if I could say and do exactly what I was feeling every time I saw him?