“How—” I began, but Jake cut me off with another kiss.
“I know Sally-Ann Jenkins asked you to help make some of the costumes for the grade school Christmas pageant because they’re short on funds and the drama teacher’s having a hard time keeping up. I know you’ve also been roped into helping design some of the decorations for the Winter Carnival. And I know you agreed to all of it despite all the work you still have to do on your clothing line. So no, Oz, I don’t think you’re ridiculous. I think you’re incredible, and I think I’d be the luckiest guy in the world to get to spend even a few minutes in your company, let alone one night or a hundred in your bed.”
I stared at him in disbelief.
He was lying.
He had to be.
But why?
“Don’t fuck with me, Jake,” I whispered as I tried to pull free of him. I knew how to defend myself against taunts about how dumb I was or how silly I behaved sometimes, but this… I didn’t know how to defend against this.
“I’m not, baby,” he said softly. He pressed his forehead against mine. “I swear I’m not.”
“Then why—”
“I’m leaving, Oz.”
“Wha–what?” I asked. At some point I’d put my hands along the sides of his strong throat and I could feel his pulse thrumming beneath my fingers.
“I didn’t tell you I was gay because I thought it would be easier to stay away from you. But I can’t be this close to you and not—” Jake closed his eyes and shook his head. “So I’m leaving as soon as the storm blows through. I want you to consider moving down to the lodge for the rest of the winter so you won’t be on your own… not because I don’t think you can handle it—”
“That’s it?” I interrupted. “You say all this shit to me and you’re just going to walk away? Why?” I couldn’t help the anger in my voice. It was like I was on a roller coaster of emotions with every word he spoke. He kept taking me higher and higher only to drop me so low it felt like I could barely breathe.
“I can’t tell you,” Jake said.
I tried to climb off him, but he tightened his hold on me. “I lost someone, okay?” he bit out, his voice desperate and urgent. “I can’t tell you how or why, but he was important to me and I waited too long to tell him how I felt and then he was gone and it was my fault and—” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I just can’t fucking go through that again. I can’t… want like that again. Not when I know I can’t have it.”
His words made no sense, but there was no mistaking his despair. His voice cracked as he whispered, “Please, Oz.”
I didn’t know what he was asking me for, but I knew what I wanted to give him.
“It’s okay, Jake,” I said softly as I leaned down to kiss him.
Gently at first, then a little deeper. Jake’s mouth moved beneath mine, tentatively returning my kisses. But it wasn’t until my tongue slid along his that he groaned and took over.
And I gladly conceded.
Jake’s tongue surged into my mouth as he quickly sat up. My back hit the steering wheel behind me, but I barely noticed it. In truth, being trapped between it and Jake’s body wasn’t even a little bit of a hardship. Jake’s fingers sifted through my hair as he explored my mouth. I braced my hands on his shoulders as he owned me, consumed me. His hands slid down my neck and along my back, then settled on my ass. His lips latched onto my neck as he began kneading my ass. I cursed the fact that I’d chosen today to wear jeans instead of thinner pants.
“More,” I demanded. I grabbed his hair and yanked his head back so I could kiss him again. He groaned at the treatment, but gladly gave it up. His hands skimmed up beneath the back of my shirt, and I whimpered at how good the rough pads of his fingers felt against my skin. The shirt was pushed up until it was gone and Jake’s mouth was on my nipple. His hand slipped beneath the waistband of my jeans so he could toy with the top of my crease, but the pants were too tight for him to go any farther.
I remedied that by shoving him back and going for my zipper. Jake’s big hands roamed up and down my upper arms as he watched me work. His eyes were heavy-lidded and filled with hunger.
And possession.
Oh god, yes, I was so his.
For as long as he’d have me.
My cock was weeping as I freed it from my jeans, and while my position wouldn’t allow for me to get the pants off, Jake didn’t seem to care because as soon as I had the pants open, his rough hands were working beneath them to grab my ass. He surged up and claimed my mouth again as he kneaded my flesh, then rubbed the pad of one finger over my hole.