Once I reached him, I crouched down next to him and settled my hand on his back. His skin was cold, and I wondered how long he’d been sitting there. Aiden didn’t react to my touch at all, nor did he look at me. His eyes were on the water. He’d drawn up his knees and was resting his arms on them. His hands were fisted.
Instead of sitting next to him, I rose and moved until I was facing him. I eased myself to my knees between his slightly spread legs, and he automatically made room for me. It was only then that he finally looked at me for the briefest of moments before returning his eyes to the water. His face was in shadows, making it impossible to discern the expression in his gaze, but it didn’t matter. I knew what I’d see. The pain was practically rolling off him. I dropped my hand to his forearm as I settled myself into the slightly damp sand. As much as I wanted to get him inside, I knew there was something else we needed to deal with first.
When I got Aiden off that beach, it had to be all of him, and it had to be for good.
“Aiden, I really need you to come back to me, okay?” I whispered when he didn’t say anything. When he didn’t respond, I shifted closer to him and cupped his face. I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes. “Aiden, please baby, come back to me.”
I heard him draw in a long breath and then his left hand closed around the wrist of the hand I had on his face. “Ash,” he managed to get out. Just that one word tore me wide open. It was said with such sheer agony, I was helpless to do anything about it.
I let the book fall and wrapped my arms around him. I clung to him, but he didn’t make a sound. The only evidence I had that he was even aware of me was the feel of one fisted hand resting lightly on my back. I held onto him for a good minute and prayed to anyone who was listening for the strength I would need to get him through this.
To get us both through it.
I forced myself to sit back as I settled my hand on his cheek again. I stroked my thumb back and forth over his cheekbone, which was more prominent than it had been when I’d first met him. It was just one of many things that was proof of his physical decline in the past few weeks as his nightmares had stolen away what little peace he could find in sleep.
“Aiden, he wouldn’t want this for you,” I said softly.
I was relieved when Aiden’s eyes finally met mine. “No, he wouldn’t,” he murmured.
“You have to let him go, baby—”
“I didn’t, Ash,” he cut in, his voice cracking just a bit. “I didn’t let him go. He did.”
“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion.
Aiden brought his hands in so they were between us. My heart was in my throat as he opened one to reveal a crumpled-up piece of paper. His trembling fingers fumbled to smooth out the creases in the folded-up piece of notebook paper. But instead of opening it, he handed it to me.
I was forced to release my hold on him so I could open the paper up.
I held my breath as I skimmed the carefully written words.
Three words.
Three simple but incredibly powerful words.
I’m sorry, Aiden.
“He put it in the book,” Aiden murmured. He reached between us and picked up the book. “Here,” he said as he opened the book to nearly the end and pointed at a page. “This was his favorite part… he’d make me read it a few times every time I read the book to him.”
I looked at the paragraph, then at Aiden. He seemed to understand my question, because he gave me the briefest of nods. The light from the moon was enough that I could still make out the words as I read them aloud.
The passage wasn’t long and talked about how one of the main characters, the father, discovered himself among some blue flowers by a stream. As he took in the wonder of it all, something inside of him started to quietly break free and for the first time in a long while, he began to feel alive again.
As I finished reading, I let the last few words fall off quietly, the silence around us broken only by the rhythmic crashing of the waves.
“He wanted to know if it was a real place… where the blue flowers were. He loved the magic of the secret garden, but he knew it wasn’t real. But the place with the stream and the forget-me-nots, he wanted it to be a real place that he could go to someday,” Aiden explained, his voice low and quiet. “I never really understood what he was going through. I thought I did, but I didn’t.”