“When did things change?” I asked.
“Not really sure. I can’t point to one thing that stands out as the turning point, you know? We fought like any couple does, but I attributed a lot of it to the pressure he was under. He didn’t hit me for the first time until about two years into the relationship.” Ash paused before saying, “God, he was so upset afterward, Aiden. I’d never seen him like that. So I believed him when he promised it would never happen again.”
We both fell silent for several minutes. I was sure Ash was done talking, but he surprised me when he said, “You wanted to know why I stayed as long as I did.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” I said.
He shook his head. “I want to,” he responded. “I guess I went from needing Billy to take care of me to wanting him to. I’d spent so many months thinking about dying that it was hard to think any differently after the transplant, even after the doctors said I was in the clear— that the likelihood of my body rejecting the heart was greatly reduced as long as I took my meds and stuck to my recovery plan. But I was still scared every single day. I was afraid that even the simplest of things would cause my heart to fail. So not having to worry about things like money and school made it a little easier… but I realize now that maybe that wasn’t a good thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe if I’d been forced to get back to the normal routine of life, I wouldn’t have had so much time to obsess over my heart failing.” Ash shifted slightly on my chest. “So it wasn’t just Billy’s fault. I was too afraid to be alone— to be on my own— to accept that things weren’t working between us. By the time I started to realize it, it was too late. Billy… he just became obsessed with controlling me, you know? I think it was because he liked having one thing in his life that he could control. His career was taking off and the pressure to succeed was such a constant that I think he needed me in the same way I’d needed him when I got sick. When I finally found the strength to end things, it was just too late.”
I dropped a kiss to the top of Ash’s head and then wrapped both my arms around him. “I wish I had even half your strength, Ash,” I admitted.
He shifted so he could look up at me. I could see that he was going to argue with me, so I chose that moment to seal my mouth over his. The kiss quickly intensified. I rolled Ash to his back and reveled at the sensation of our cocks sliding against each other.
“We should go see if breakfast can be saved,” I reminded him as I sipped at his lips.
“Uh-huh,” he agreed, even as he wound his legs around mine and stole into my mouth with a deep, drugging kiss. By the time he drew back, I was shamelessly humping him, the pre-cum from our cocks mixing and easing my glides. “What were you saying about breakfast?” Ash asked, his voice husky as he lifted his chin so I could feast on his neck.
“Nothing,” I managed to say. “Breakfast is stupid. Fuck breakfast.”
Ash let out a throaty laugh and then his mouth was back on mine.
Chapter 18
Ash
Sex with Aiden Vale was like a vacation from the real world. Only it was the best vacation I could have ever imagined— the heat of his body, the scent of his skin, the bambambam of my heart as he seduced me with his wandering fingers…
It was all-consuming and I couldn’t get enough of it. As soon as we finished one sweaty session, one or the other of us would trail a finger along the other’s body or drop a lazy kiss somewhere and it would start everything up again. By the time early afternoon rolled around, I felt like maybe I could die in that rumpled bed tangled up in Aiden’s sweaty and sticky body and be perfectly happy.
I must have dozed off because I came awake to the feel of a rumble under my cheek.
“Mm?” I grunted.
“You’re going to kill me if we keep this up. I think my balls are numb, so your ass can’t be feeling good.”
“You’re wrong,” I mumbled into his chest. “My ass feels amazing. But if you don’t believe me, you’re welcome to stick your fingers up there and check—”
Aiden barked out a laugh. “No! Jesus, Ash. We’re getting up now. I need to feed you and let you out for some fresh air.” He shifted me off him and moved to sit at the side of the bed. I snuggled down into the warm impression he’d left behind, but he caught me. “No way. Shower, food, fresh air. Then we can think about getting dirty again.”