I’d also figured it wouldn’t be fair to Emily to stay only long enough to earn some cash and then split. But what she was offering me… it was so much more than that now. The health insurance alone would be a lifesaver. But the prospect of not having to give up the few friends I’d managed to make despite Billy… that couldn’t be measured. No, I’d never planned to build a life in New York, but would that be such a bad thing? Billy had only known I’d gotten a job, not where it had been. And there was next to zero chance he’d ever show up at a Star Trek themed coffee shop.
Even if he did, we were through. He’d get that message eventually. And if he didn’t, I’d use the one thing he feared most in this world.
Exposure.
I’d finally be free to start building an actual life. I could do all the normal things Billy had spent years trying to convince me that I didn’t need.
“I know the pay’s not much—”
That was all I let her get out before I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around her, uncaring that my ribs screamed in protest. Emily let out a little laugh and hugged me back.
“Is that a yes?”
“Ha,” I managed to get out.
“Why, Ash Valentine, I think you’ve been keeping secrets.”
The old Ash would have panicked at her comment, but the new Ash knew she was only referring to the fact that I’d answered yes to her question in Vulcan, thereby proving I was just as much of a Star Trek geek as the rest of them.
“I plead the fifth.”
As I sat back to listen to Emily discuss the logistics of my coming back to work, I felt a little piece of my world shift back on its axis. And as soon as I agreed to start the very next morning, my thoughts drifted to a certain regular customer with gorgeous blue eyes and a wide smile.
A smile I’d broken and eyes I’d dimmed with my cruel words.
And just like that, my joy faded and the anxiety returned.
My anxiety about trying to explain to Aiden why I’d said such terrible things to him hadn’t diminished in the least during my first week back at the coffee shop. I’d thought myself lucky when Aiden hadn’t shown up the first morning, but the need to talk to him hadn’t gone away just because he hadn’t come in. So even as I’d quickly fallen back into the routine of serving customers, my mind had been on the right words I’d say to Aiden when he did come in.
Except he didn’t come in.
Not the next day.
Or the one after that.
A full eight days had passed, six of which I’d worked, and still no Aiden. I’d finally swallowed my pride and asked Emily about it, only to learn that Aiden hadn’t been back to the shop since the day he’d come to check on me at my apartment. Emily had admitted she’d given Aiden my address, but I hadn’t cared about that. I’d been tempted to call him, but had belatedly realized I hadn’t thought to write his number down before destroying my phone. When Emily had casually pointed out Aiden’s business card tacked up on a corkboard by the time clock in the break room, I’d quickly programmed the number into the new, cheap cell phone I’d bought. I’d tried calling him several times, but each time, I’d chickened out before hitting the send button after my brain had replayed the terrible things I’d said to him.
I hadn’t expected the loss of Aiden to hit me so hard, but I couldn’t deny that things just didn’t seem as bright without him around. Regardless, I knew it was probably for the best, since being around him and not being able to be with him would just be too hard.
It was a line I’d fed myself over and over again, but my heart still wasn’t buying it.
I was in the middle of restocking some of the mugs Emily used for the customers who stayed in the shop to drink their coffees when the door chimed. I gave myself a mental pat on the back as I managed to not instantly jerk my head up.
In the past, I’d always done that because I’d been afraid it would be Billy.
This past week I’d been doing it in the hopes of seeing Aiden sauntering through the door, his infectious grin going wide when he spied me.
“What can I get you?” I asked the man who stopped in front of the cash register. He was a little older than me with dark hair. Tension filled his expression as he glanced at my name tag.
“You’re Ash?” he asked.
“I am,” I said nervously. My bruises had significantly faded, but I didn’t miss him checking them out.