I didn’t have concrete proof of that, but I’d seen the behavior before. Even if I was wrong about the brace and his wrist injury had just been some kind of accident, his other behaviors still pointed to some kind of abuse. Maybe it was emotional abuse from a boyfriend or loved one, but it didn’t matter.
I couldn’t just walk away.
And I couldn’t give the journal back just yet, either. I couldn’t let on that I knew, because he’d shut down the second he discovered I’d read it. Sure, I could lie about it, but even though I pretty much lied for a living, the thought of doing that to Ash left a sour taste in my mouth. I had the option of just returning the journal to the shop after Ash’s shift or even anonymously through the mail, but I was reluctant to do that, too.
I didn’t really know why, since it would save Ash the embarrassment of knowing someone else had read the things he’d clearly never meant to share.
Either way, I was fucked. I’d screwed up by not turning the book in the moment I’d found it.
On the fifth morning when I walked in considerably later than normal, the warm welcoming atmosphere of the shop helped thaw me from the frigid February weather. For once, there was no line, so Ash wasn’t by the cash register. My eyes instantly scanned the front of the shop until I found him stacking cookies on a tray in the display cabinet. His eyes darted to the door like it had in the first few days of him working in the shop, but he seemed to look right through me, because he didn’t acknowledge me in any way.
He quickly returned to the cookies, his entire countenance dark. He was definitely having trouble focusing on the task at hand because he kept moving the cookies into different piles, presumably so they were sorted correctly by flavor. His forehead was pinched with worry and his hands seemed to shake as he stacked each cookie on the platter.
My eyes shot to Emily. “The usual?” she asked, though there was little cheer in her voice. She kept shifting her gaze to Ash, too.
I nodded and walked up to the far side of the counter so I could talk to her in private.
“Everything okay?” I asked quietly, as I nodded in Ash’s direction.
She looked over and frowned before returning her gaze to me and shaking her head. “He was fine until he got a text a little while ago. I asked him if everything was okay, and he said it was, but…”
Her words dropped off as she sent him another worried look. Ash was too lost in his own little world to even notice.
After I picked up my cup from the end of the counter and handed Emily some cash and told her to keep the change, I stepped over to where Ash still attempted to get the stack of cookies into some semblance of organization.
“Good morning, Ash,” I said with a smile.
He jumped the second I spoke and then looked at me in surprise.
Yeah, he’d definitely been looking through me earlier when I’d entered.
“Um, morning,” he murmured as he returned his attention to the last of the cookies.
“Ash, are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine. Sorry. Have a nice day, Aiden,” he said politely before turning to head to the back room.
“Wait,” I said, reaching out a hand to touch his arm. He recoiled with a wince. He tried to hide his reaction, but failed miserably. “Ash, you don’t seem okay. Is there anything I can do to help? You look like you could use a friend.”
“Just tired,” he mumbled. “Didn’t sleep well.”
I didn’t entirely believe him but said, “Been there, done that.”
He relaxed a bit and sighed. “Any tips?”
“Physical activity usually helps me,” I said.
“You mean like working out before bed?”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my lips. “Um, sure… working out. Let’s call it that.”
My comment did the trick because Ash’s face turned an adorable shade of pink as he picked up on what I was saying. “Oh,” he let out with a soft breath. I chuckled and grabbed two cookies from the tray on the counter. “Chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?” I asked as I nodded at the two cookies in my hand.
“Gotta go with the chocolate chip,” he said.
I nodded and handed him the chocolate chip cookie. “For you,” I said. I lowered my voice and dipped my head toward his as I said, “In case you need a treat before bedtime tonight.”
I swore he trembled just a little bit as he accepted the cookie. I stepped back and said, “Sleep well, Ash,” and then went to go pay Emily for the cookies. I felt Ash’s eyes on me even as I left the shop. I didn’t need to confirm that he was watching me, but I did it anyway. He didn’t look away as I walked out the door.