I couldn’t stop shaking my head, but I was unable to give voice to another denial.
“I need to talk to him,” I murmured.
“You do that, and you’re right back here. Bomber’s dropped the charges, but that doesn’t mean you won’t go to jail for violating the restraining orders. Not to mention he could sue you, me, the firm.” Chase fell silent and then he was reaching into his pocket. “Ash knew you would think he was being forced into all this, so he gave me this. He said you’d know it was his writing.”
Chase pulled out a plain white envelope and handed it to me.
I didn’t want to take it.
When I failed to reach for it, Chase opened it himself. As he pulled a single piece of paper out of it, a key dropped onto the table.
Ash’s key.
The one to my apartment.
I shook my head in disbelief.
What the hell was happening?
Tears stung my eyes as Chase softly asked, “Do you want me to read it to you?”
I shook my head. It was a humiliation I just couldn’t bear. I held out my hand and took the letter from him, then sank back down in the chair and unfolded it. Ash’s name was scrawled across the bottom.
It was definitely his writing.
I forced my eyes to the top of the letter and began reading.
Dear Aiden,
I know you won’t want to believe anything in this letter, but it’s really me talking and it’s really how I feel. What we had was special, but I was a fool to think that I could let go of my feelings for Billy so easily. Not after everything he and I have shared. I know you just wanted to save me, Aiden, but Billy did that a long time ago. He and I have some things we need to work through, but I know what he feels for me is real. He’s forgiven me for not being strong enough to stay and fight for what I wanted with him. He’s even talking about coming out so we can finally be together the way we were always meant to be.
I’m sorry for leading you on, Aiden. I hope someday you can forgive me.
Please leave my things with your doorman, and Billy will arrange to have them picked up.
I know you’ll be tempted to contact me because it will be hard for you to accept this, but if you ever cared about me, I am asking you not to do that. I saw what you did to Billy last night and it scared me.
Really scared me.
I don’t want to be afraid of you, so please don’t give me a reason to be.
I wish you all the best, Aiden. I truly do.
Ash
I felt bile rise in my throat as I turned the letter over so I wouldn’t be tempted to read it again. My hands were shaking so bad that I had to tuck them in my lap. This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t. So many things in the letter didn’t ring true, but it was what was missing that made my stomach churn.
There was no hidden message.
Nothing I could have clung to as proof Ash had been forced to write it.
No lines from his journal, no words that would have had some kind of double meaning. He’d even signed it with his real name and not the one Billy seemed to prefer.
Chase pulled the letter across the table, carefully folding it up and tucking it back into the envelope, along with the key to my apartment. “I’m sorry, Aiden.”
I sat there numbly, unable to make sense of anything. “When can I get out of here?” I asked.
“Now,” Chase murmured. “If you go to him, you’ll be arrested again.”
I nodded in understanding. Despite the voice in my head screaming at me to go to Ash, my self-preservation instincts were stronger.
“You can’t call or text him, either.” When I didn’t respond to that, Chase sighed and said, “Aiden, can I make a suggestion?”
I managed a nod as I stared at my bruised knuckles. I’d scared Ash. How could he ever think I’d lay even a finger on him in anger?
“You’re supposed to fly to Colorado tomorrow, right? For that thing with Bennett and Xander?”
I nodded. “There’s a retirement party for the guy they’re buying their business from. But it’s really to celebrate when Xander proposes to Bennett.”
Ash was supposed to have come with me.
“Go on the trip. Spend some time with your friends. Get out of the city for a bit. We’ll regroup when you get back.”
I wanted to tell him no. That I couldn’t leave Ash. Even if what he’d said in that letter was true, he was still in danger. He’d be in danger every second he spent in Billy’s presence. But a stark realization hit me.
“He was right,” I whispered.