The thought exhausted me, and it took every ounce of energy I had just to drag my sorry ass the rest of the way to the trailhead.
Chapter 31
Xander
Despite the fun I’d had reminiscing about how Jake and I had met, I couldn’t shake my concern for Bennett. I’d heard of secondary drowning as part of my first aid training, but I hadn’t even considered it after pulling Bennett from the river. I’d been so focused on getting him warm and making sure he hadn’t had a serious injury that I hadn’t been able to think about much else. I looked ahead at Bennett who was leading our little group with Jimmy at his side. He’d been unnaturally quiet, but I also knew he was physically exhausted. His injuries had been bad enough, but to then tack on two hikes in less than ideal conditions— I knew he had to be feeling it.
Still, I didn’t like the silence.
But he wasn’t exhibiting any of the signs Jake had mentioned.
I glanced at Jake to see how he was doing. He was handling the day’s hike like a champ, but I knew, like Bennett, he had to feel wiped out from both his injury and the stress he’d been experiencing the past couple days.
“You going to tell me about how you knew all that stuff back there?” I asked. Jake was leaning on me more heavily now, presumably because his ankle was starting to hurt more and more.
“What stuff?”
“That secondary drowning shit. Carrying a stethoscope around,” I said.
“Just like to be prepared.”
“Bullshit.”
He shot me a look, but he quickly shuttered whatever emotion had been in his eyes for the briefest of moments.
Although I’d gotten to know Jake somewhat better once he’d made the move to Colorado, he was still a complete enigma. I could count on one hand the things I knew about him. And even then, I’d have fingers left over. I’d always let it go because I figured, like me, he was running from something in his past. But I was beginning to wonder if maybe what he was running from was much more than the broken heart I’d been trying to deal with for the past fifteen years.
“Just let it go, Xander,” he said. “That’s not our thing, remember?”
I knew what he was talking about. Somehow we’d reached a silent agreement that whatever was in the past was better off left there. It was a rule I’d gladly adhered to after I’d gotten drunk one night and told Jake about Bennett’s defection when we were kids. I hadn’t told him any of the details, but he’d learned enough to know I’d carried the scars for a long time. Luckily, he’d never pressed me for more, and I’d respected the same boundary with him.
Which meant I’d have to respect it now.
“Thank you,” I said.
“For what?”
“For checking him out,” I said as I motioned ahead of us. I knew Bennett was too far ahead to hear our conversation. We were on the last leg of the trail which was a straight shot to the trailhead, so I didn’t have to worry about him and Jimmy getting a little farther ahead of us.
Jake nodded. “He seems like a good guy.”
His comment surprised me since last time he’d seen Bennett, I’d been in the process of trying to get away from my former friend. I would have expected him to be lashing out at Bennett in some attempt to protect me. Before I could say anything, he continued.
“You guys talked it out, didn’t you? Fixed whatever was wrong between you?”
“We did,” I said. “How did you know?”
He shrugged. “It’s written all over your faces. Even the one time you told me about him, there was something in your eyes…” His voice fell off briefly before his gaze connected with mine. “It’s still there.”
I sighed. “It always will be. But we only fixed some things. Some things just can’t be changed.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that he lives 2000 miles away. That he’s a part of a world I never want to go back to.”
“What, because he’s got money?”
“Not just that… he’s someone out there. His name means something. He’s got a successful career ahead of him running the family business. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t fit.”
“Hmmm, never pegged you for a pussy.”
I was so startled by his comment that I actually stopped walking. Jake wasn’t big on confrontation and had a habit of keeping his thoughts to himself. If I wanted his opinion on something, I usually had to drag it out of him.
“What is it? Is everything okay?” Bennett asked as he glanced over his shoulder at us.
“Yeah, sorry, all good,” I said quickly and got us moving again. I waited until Bennett and Jimmy had put several yards between us before I said, “I guess when you’ve got something to say, you don’t pull any punches, huh?”