And with that, Xander turned around and took his gorgeous goddamned ass to the farthest edge of the camp, leaving me alone to think about the time in my life when I truly had been young and stupid.
Chapter 3
Xander
Bennett’s gay.
What were the fucking odds?
The late morning sun soothed my skin as I realized that not only was I trapped with the asshole for seven unbearably long days and nights, now I had to deal with the fact that he played for my team. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he’d apparently brought his own teammate along for the ride.
No wonder I’d hated Aiden Vale on sight. Of course, I’d thought it was because he fit the profile of the rich Wall Street banker type guy to a T and I hated those kinds of guys with a passion. Not that it had always been that way. No, it hadn’t been until I’d walked through the doors of Knollwood Academy on the first day of high school that I’d been reminded that, despite having been golden boy Bennett Crawford’s best friend for almost ten years, I was still just a loser from the wrong side of the tracks.
Though in my case, there’d been no tracks… just the expansive, pristine acres of perfectly manicured green lawn that had separated Bennett’s family’s palatial home from the small caretaker’s cottage my father and I had shared on the edge of the estate’s property line. I recalled the first day in my new high school. I’d had to ignore the hushed whispers of the other kids as they’d marveled over the arrival of “that scholarship kid.” I’d searched for Bennett, who’d had to get to school early for crew practice, but by the time I’d found him, he’d already had his books in hand and had been among a large group of boys I’d never met before. I’d expected him to stay behind to wait for me to get my locker open, but he’d merely cast me a nod and said he’d catch up with me later.
I hadn’t seen him for the rest of the day.
I should have recognized the moment for what it was.
The beginning of the end of our close friendship.
I’d lost Bennett to guys like Aiden that very day, though I hadn’t realized it until later. And I hadn’t actually accepted it until one terrible night in late September when my life had been changed forever.
Bennett is gay… and he’s fucking Aiden.
I shook my head as I increased my pace on the rocky trail. Poor Bear had to run to keep up with me. I’d spent the better part of the morning avoiding Bennett and his asshole of a boyfriend. I’d sounded like a goddamn drill sergeant when I’d told the kids they had thirty minutes to eat their breakfast and get their tents broken down, but even their grumbling about what a tightass I was hadn’t been enough to deter me. I’d left the group alone as I’d gone ahead to scout the trail, a move that had been wholly unnecessary and had served only to get me away from Bennett’s worried glances and Aiden’s smug smirks. I hadn’t returned until it had been time to get everybody going.
The fact Bennett was gay or that he had a boyfriend shouldn’t have changed anything, but somehow it made things even worse— something I wouldn’t have thought possible. And I refused to examine why it mattered so damn much. It wasn’t like I’d spent all these years pining for something I couldn’t have.
I’d left Bennett behind the second he’d turned his back on me.
As a friend.
As a future lover.
Didn’t matter.
He might as well have been dead and buried six feet under for all I cared.
Bullshit.
Damn! Since when had my fourteen-year-old self decided he was going to be the voice of reason in my head?
“Xander!”
At the sound of Bennett’s voice behind me, I increased my stride. I just needed a few more moments to myself. To steel myself from grabbing the man and shaking him and asking him why the hell he’d ditched me fifteen years ago. What had I done to drive him away? Why hadn’t I been good enough anymore?
“Xander, hold up.”
I flinched as Bennett’s fingers closed around my upper arm. I yanked it free of his hold, but when the motion unbalanced him and he stumbled, I quickly grabbed him by the elbow to steady him. We both froze as sparks danced along the points where we touched. Before I even realized what I was doing, I moved closer to him so our chests were touching. Bennett’s pretty lips separated as he tilted his head just enough so he could look me in the eye. The open desire I saw there had me pulling him even closer. It wasn’t until he let out a breathy sigh that I remembered myself and quickly ripped my hand away before stepping back.