He was right.
“Okay, yeah,” I said.
“He’s going to be okay, Bennett.”
“He has to be,” I whispered.
“He will,” Xander said and then he pulled me back in his arms and I happily went.
Chapter 21
Xander
The following day was our last full day in the backcountry and the kids woke up hyper as hell. Everyone scrambled to pack their gear so they could be the first to report to me for their solo route assignments. We were departing from Gin Lake and would be camping that evening at Caldera Lake. To get from one lake to the other, we had to navigate over Mount Wodash in between.
This was the pinnacle of excitement for most kids on these wilderness adventure trips— the solo hike. I’d spent time every day going over the tools needed to make it from point A to point B in the backcountry, and I’d surreptitiously quizzed each kid’s navigation skills the previous day. Everyone had passed with flying colors, and the route I’d chosen was a fairly straightforward one.
Mount Wodash sported a high pass with a large, open view of the valley below leading down to the lake. Any lost hikers would be easily spotted from that vista as I came through last to pick up any stragglers. The kids didn’t know that it was almost impossible to get lost between Gin and Caldera Lakes, so hopefully they would feel a massive sense of accomplishment by nightfall.
One of my favorite parts of these trips was the final night’s campfire where everyone would be chattering excitedly about their solo adventures. A storm was threatening far off in the distance, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was more likely to spoil our final short hike to the trailhead the following day rather than mess up the solos or our celebration night.
Bear lifted his head from where it had been resting on his paws as I heard someone approach.
“Xander?”
“Hey, Lucky. You ready for your solo today?” I asked with a smile. I tried to hide my concern for him by turning to dig his copy of today’s topo map out of my bag.
“Well, yes. Sort of,” he said hesitantly. “I mean, I’m almost ready, but I think one of the other guys is really worried about it. I heard Frankie crying in his tent this morning when I walked past on my way to take a pee.”
I glanced in the direction of Frankie and Calvin’s tent group and noticed Frankie sitting on his pack with his face in his hands.
“Xander, do you think maybe I should offer to go with him so he’s not alone?” Lucky asked, reaching down to give Bear the petting he’d started nudging for.
“No, Lucky. I don’t want your solo experience impaired. If I need to hike with him, it’s not a problem, okay? Finish up packing your gear and let me handle it.”
“M’kay,” he replied, still focused on my pushy dog. We stood together in silence for a few moments before I caught him sneaking a peek back at Frankie and then at me. He kept quiet and continued petting the beast.
“Lucky?” I asked quietly. “What’s really bothering you about Frankie?”
“No, no. It’s not that,” he said quickly. “It’s not Frankie.”
“Alright. Do you want to talk about it? Whatever it is?” I asked carefully as I thought about what Bennett had told me the day before. The thought of someone who’d been entrusted to care for this boy, but had abused him instead, made me physically ill, and I wanted to reassure him no one would ever dare lay a hand on him again. It was a promise I couldn’t make, but I sure as hell wished I could. For his sake… and Bennett’s.
More dog pets and more sneaking glances back toward the group of kids packing by the tents. It occurred to me that he likely wasn’t looking to talk to me about his foster parents at all because he was just too light and relaxed.
“It’s just… I mean. I guess I was wondering…”
A blush had started to rise on his cheeks, and in that instant, he reminded me so much of Bennett, it almost made me laugh— so bumbling, and awkward, and eager. So, I did what I’d always done with Bennett— offered a lighter non-subject to buy him some time to get his thoughts together.
“Hey, would you mind walking Bear down to the lake for one last drink before we set off? I need to double-check these maps to make sure I have enough.”
Lucky’s head snapped up and a grin widened on his face. “Yeah, sure. C’mon, Bear.”
As I watched the two of them wander down to the water’s edge, I caught Bennett’s eye where he was burying the remnants of our fire from the night before. He shot me a soft smile and then cocked an eyebrow with a nod in Lucky’s direction.