I looked back toward Xander to see if he was still asleep. Sure enough, he was dead to the world. There was enough ambient moonlight coming through the mesh panel over his head to show me just how peaceful he looked.
God, he was beautiful. Even more now than he’d been as a kid. The planes of his face were a combination of familiar and strange. Thick eyelashes rested on his cheeks and I was desperate to reach out and stroke his face.
His sleeping bag was completely unzipped, and he was lying half in and half out of it in nothing but boxer briefs, despite the cold night. I had to stifle a smile as I remembered how hot of a sleeper he was. He’d been like my very own furnace during cold nights spent sleeping out under the stars when we were kids.
I wasn’t able to peel my eyes off the miles of exposed skin laid out before me. He was fit and tanned, presumably from living a life outdoors, and it seemed like every muscle was lean and defined. I reached my hand out instinctively, as if to run fingers over the bumps of his abdominal muscles, but I stopped myself before making contact.
Fuck. I was a creeper. I needed to turn around and leave. What the hell had I been thinking? But just as I started to turn and make my escape, I heard his sleepy mumble.
“Benny?” He paused before adding, “You scared?”
My throat tightened at the same words he’d asked me so many times when we were kids, and I squeezed my eyes closed for a moment. I turned to look at him and felt the stupid-ass prickly feeling behind my eyes as I whispered his name longingly. I forced myself not to move any closer to him, though my body screamed for me to do it. “Shhh, I’m not here. Go back to sleep.”
“C’mere,” he said as he pushed the sleeping bag off the rest of his body and opened his arms invitingly. I knew I shouldn’t. I knew that. But I didn’t care. The chance to feel his arms around me one more time…
I stifled the tears that threatened to fall, shoved away the shame of what I was doing, and crawled into his open arms.
“You okay?” he murmured, reminding me he was still clearly half-asleep.
“No,” I whispered to myself. “I want to kiss you so badly, it’s tearing me up inside.” I couldn’t stop myself from letting my hand slide all over his side, chest, and belly.
Xander’s eyes dipped to my mouth as his tongue came out to wet his own lips. The combination sent blood straight to my dick and I groaned. Fuck it. I was, at most, five seconds away from being kicked out of his tent when he came fully awake, and I was sure as shit going to take advantage of those five seconds before that happened.
Before I could reconsider, I leaned forward, landing my mouth on his as softly as I could. Just a taste, I told myself. One fucking taste to last me the rest of my life.
My hand slid gently along the side of his face as the first feel of his mouth hit my senses and I sucked in a breath. That’s all it was supposed to be— just a goodnight kiss before I left him to fall back asleep. With any luck, he wouldn’t even remember I’d been there.
But before I could pull away, Xander’s hand came up to hold the back of my head and bring my lips close again.
“Fuck,” he growled before latching his mouth onto mine. This time there was nothing soft about it. The kiss was fevered and frenzied. Within seconds, it was all seeking tongues and nipping teeth, roaming hands and arching cocks. My brain short-circuited, and I lost all remnants of rational thought.
Xander Reed was making out with me and the entire fucking world ceased to exist. The only things left were our heated breaths, thundering hearts, and seeking fingers. His body was on fire, and I tried my best to run my hands over every inch of skin available to me. His own hands had finally settled on my ass and were pulling me in tight so we could grind our dicks together.
“Want you,” he said, his voice low and rumbly against my ear.
They were the words I’d been waiting a lifetime to hear. Words I’d heard many times from all sorts of men, but never like this. Never from the only man I’d wanted to hear them from.
“I want you so badly, Xander. Please,” I begged without shame as I pressed him onto his back and covered his upper body with mine.
My cock was hard and pulsing, making me wonder if his was leaking too. I had to touch him. What I really wanted was to put my mouth on him, but I’d settle for sneaking a hand into his underwear and copping a feel.