The food I’d just eaten threatened to come back up as what he was saying sank in.
“Jerry?” I asked, simply because I had no idea what else to say.
“My mom’s, ah, boyfriend… well, at the time anyway. Not sure if she’s still with him.”
“You don’t live with your mom?”
Lucky shook his head, but didn’t say anything more. I fully expected that the conversation was over when the boy remained silent for several minutes, but he surprised me by saying, “It’s cool out here.”
“Yes, it is,” I acknowledged.
“Did you… did you like, go to school or something?”
It dawned on me what he was asking. “You mean college?”
He nodded.
“I did. But not specifically because it was a requirement for this job.”
Lucky glanced at me, his confusion clear as day in the firelight. “You went to school because you… wanted to?”
I chuckled and said, “Yeah, I did.” I let my eyes drift off into the darkness. There was enough moonlight filtering through the clouds that I could see the outline of the trees and the shimmering lake. My heart swelled at the sight. “I went to Colorado State University and got a degree in Fish, Wildlife and Conservation Biology.”
“Oh,” Lucky murmured, his eyes downcast. “I do okay in school, but I don’t get straight A’s or nothin.”
“Lucky,” I said and I waited until he looked up at me. “I belong in these woods,” I murmured as I motioned around us. “Degree or no degree. I went to school because I wanted to learn more about the wilderness I loved. I can’t say I was always the best student when I was your age, but if you want something bad enough, you’re willing to work as hard as you have to for it.” My eyes automatically drifted to Bennett.
I hadn’t been lying when I’d said I hadn’t been a great student… not like Bennett. I’d been fortunate to get a scholarship to Bennett’s private high school, but I’d had to work hard to keep up with the intense private institution’s curriculum. While I’d wanted to make my dad proud by maintaining the scholarship, I’d been more afraid that losing it would have also meant losing that last connection to Bennett. Sensation shot up and down my spine as Bennett’s eyes once again met mine over the fire. I immediately returned my attention to Lucky so I wouldn’t get caught up in Bennett or his damn story and the memories that came along with it.
“You have to fight for what you want, Lucky,” I said softly. I didn’t add that you also needed to know when to walk away. The kid needed to keep his dreams for as long as he could, after all.
Lucky nodded and fell silent again. Bear began prodding my hands, and I knew he could sense my anxiety building. I let my fingers sift through his thick fur.
“You and B, you were friends, huh?”
Lucky’s question had me sucking in my breath. I didn’t want to answer him. “A long time ago, yes,” I finally acknowledged.
“But not anymore?”
Pain exploded in my chest and I was sure I was going to have a heart attack. “People change, Lucky. They go their separate ways,” I forced myself to say. I was so on edge by the shift in conversation, I jumped when I heard the kids scream and shout at Bennett when his story hit its crescendo. I leapt to my feet and said, “I should go check things out.” There was absolutely nothing that needed to get checked out, but hopefully Lucky didn’t know that.
“Yeah, sure man,” I heard him mumble and I felt like a shit for just ditching him. But as I listened to the kids giving Bennett a hard time about the story at the same time that they were saying how cool it was and they couldn’t wait to hear it again, I wanted to throw up. Because memories of lying huddled with Bennett under a blanket, his head tucked against my shoulder, our hands linked between us… it was all just too much. I forced myself not to look at Bennett as I hurried from the fire into the darkness, Bear at my side.
I didn’t look at him, but I felt Bennett’s eyes on me just the same.
Chapter 6
Bennett
“Can’t sleep?”
I shook my head as Aiden came around behind me and stepped over the log. He sat close enough that his hip was brushing mine, and I automatically laid my head on his shoulder. It was a move I’d done countless times in the years since we’d ended our brief and very one-sided relationship. I wasn’t sure why Aiden still allowed the contact… maybe because he knew I was a tactile person, or maybe because he just felt sorry for me when I got like this.
The fire hadn’t completely died out when I’d crawled out of my tent an hour earlier, so I’d built it back up and had been staring into the burning embers ever since, as if they could somehow tell me how I’d managed to mess things up so badly.