“Mmpfh. I’ll allow it. Mostly because she’ll be sexy as fuck with that thing in. She has a lovely nose.”
“You’re whipped.”
MJ’s grin was wide and free. “So very happily whipped. You should try it.”
It was my turn to scoff. “Not sure about that. My life is complicated enough as it is without a partner.”
Agent Dirk Falcon’s square jaw and dimpled chin rose unbidden in my mind and set my heart rate on edge for some reason. Maybe it was a subconscious reminder that I already had a man in my life who made things complicated enough without adding a love interest to the mix.
After arriving in time for a big bonfire with half the town and almost all my family members followed by a long sleep in the ranch bunkhouse, I made my way to Doc and Grandpa’s kitchen for breakfast. Several of my siblings were already lounging around in their pajamas with hands wrapped around cups of coffee. Grandpa’s familiar, wide shoulders took up space in front of whatever he was making on the griddle, and the smell of bacon made my mouth water.
“There he is,” Doc said with a wide grin and open arms. I gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Everything looks and smells amazing. I should have come home months ago,” I admitted.
“Years ago,” someone coughed into their hand.
“No shit,” someone else said.
I ignored it and headed for the coffee. My family meant well, and they showed their love with teasing, but I still felt hollowed out with guilt.
West looked up from his phone. “Where you been lately? Last I heard, you were in Bahrain. Was it another art consultation?” He lifted his eyebrow and emphasized the words art consultation like they were code for something.
“Can’t we all just put it out there that he’s CIA,” Hallie said without looking up from her own phone. “We’ve been whispering about it for years now.”
“I’m not,” I said for the millionth time. “I promise you my degrees in art history are real, and they’re not something the CIA has a huge need of.” At least that part was true. “Besides, you know how much I hate guns. Pretty sure CIA agents have to be well trained in firearms.”
“Cover story,” someone coughed again. I identified my brother Otto as the cough-er. He grinned and winked at me.
“Whatever,” I said, taking my first sip of coffee and avoiding eye contact with MJ. “Subject change please.”
Hallie held up her phone. “Could you hack into this if you had to?”
I paused.
“A-ha!” she said triumphantly. “Case closed.”
West grabbed Nico’s coffee mug to get him a refill. “Have you ever participated in a dead drop?”
I paused again. Lying to my family was one of the lines I tried never to cross. Which they made extremely difficult at times.
“Duuuuude,” Saint said. “And I thought being a SEAL was impressive.”
“It is,” his boyfriend, Augie, agreed, rubbing Saint’s upper arm and sneaking in a squeeze of Saint’s enormous biceps. “It so is.”
“I don’t work for the CIA,” I insisted.
“Okay, fine. Some other covert agency,” Hallie said, waving a hand. “Whatever. Point is, our bro is a spy. Totes cool.”
Winnie grunted her disapproval of her twin’s trendy speak. “Does it matter? The important question is… are you happy?” Then she shot laser eyeballs at me.
Fuck.
“So… how ’bout them Cowboys? Think they’re gonna go all the way this year?” I asked.
The room full of non-sports fans gawped at me.
Doc tilted his head and grinned at me. “Oh, you’re into American football? Interesting. Define a safety.”
I drew a blank. “Shut up,” I muttered, sipping the coffee again. “Tell me about your great-grandchildren. Someone said you’ve been playing favorites.”
The bait worked. Doc sputtered and began extolling the virtues of all of their great-granddaughters. West winked at me and walked over to exchange the refilled coffee mug for the baby in Nico’s arms. Seeing West as a dad was so natural and right. He’d always been responsible and caring. I was thrilled he’d found a loving and interesting partner to share his life with.
As I looked around the room at the rest of my siblings and cousins, I noticed just how many of them had found love since I’d seen them last. So many of them seemed happy and fulfilled. Was I?
It wasn’t even a question. The answer was a resounding no. I was tired and bitter, alone and so fucking stressed all the time. My life had been wearing me down one job at a time.
Aunt Gina had been watching me from across the room since I’d walked in. I’d noticed her studying me at the bonfire the night before as well, so when she approached me and stood next to me at the kitchen island, I wasn’t surprised.
“If your life isn’t working out the way you planned it, King, then change it.” She reached for my hand and held it. “You are smart, well educated, and driven, not to mention only twenty-eight years old. It is never too late for a fresh start.”