I shook my head. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. She’s practical. I mean, she’s a nurse for god’s sake. So she’d have been way more interested in knowing I could provide financial security for her and a future family than some kind of big romantic gesture like flowers and a bunch of meaningless words.”
More tsks and head shakes.
“You don’t know her,” I said lamely. “It doesn’t matter now anyway. It’s over.”
The older lady next to me poked me in the side with a pointy finger. “Did it ever occur to you to bring her with you to Ireland?”
I thought about it. “No. Why would I? It’s a business trip. A quick in and out. Plus… she’s ah… moved on. I heard she’s already seeing someone else.” I’d been in denial about that last part, but it was true. I assumed she was doing it deliberately to prove she never cared about me much in the first place. It was working.
More head shakes all around.
My seatmate sighed like I’d disappointed her with my stupidity. “Forget it. One day you’ll meet someone you’ll want to show the world to. In the meantime, go ahead and kick ass on the work thingie and get a big promotion. That way, when the time comes, you’ll have enough money to live a big life with your true love.” She turned to say something to the ladies across the aisle, and I felt dismissed.
Everyone wandered away, seemingly disappointed in me, and all I could think was, Join the fucking club.
Because no one was more disappointed in me than I was.
After a few minutes of silence, my seatmate spoke up again. “Have you considered maybe you’re swimming in the wrong pond?”
I had no idea what she meant.
“Pardon?”
“Maybe you’d be more interested in sausage than tacos,” she tried explaining.
One of the ladies from across the aisle spoke up. “Can it, Tilly. Not every man likes the D.”
I almost choked on my tongue. My face ignited, and I sank lower in my seat.
“Shit,” the lady next to me muttered as she eyed me and my reaction carefully. She’d clearly mistaken my embarrassment at the turn in conversation for something else because she added, “He’s a homophobe. And now I’m stuck next to him for the rest of the flight. Switch seats with me, Irene.”
“I’m not a homophobe,” I argued, taking major offense. “Practically every guy in my family is gay.”
“Practically?”
“Except me. Obviously,” I clarified.
“Maybe that’s your problem. Try batting for the other team and see if that doesn’t solve it.”
Clearly the woman had some fucked-up notions of sexuality. Did I dare correct her?
“Sexuality doesn’t work like that, ma’am. You can’t just ‘choose’ to be gay if being straight isn’t working out for you,” I said. I could feel the tension in my jaw. It was a familiar sensation I felt whenever I found myself defending my siblings from ignorant assholes.
“You think I don’t know that?” She pointed a thumb over her shoulder to the two ladies across the aisle. “My two besties are lesbos, and I have about a million gay grandsons. I volunteer at an LGBTQ youth shelter in San Francisco and lost my brother thanks to my homophobic parents kicking him out years and years ago, so don’t you go lecturing me on gay, young man.”
She’d gathered up a full head of steam, and I could tell I was in for a wild ride.
“Sorry,” I began, but she cut me off.
“No. You listen to me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all these years of living, it’s that love is love. What the hell does it matter what bits and pieces someone has on their body? If you can open yourself up to love, you might be surprised at the package it comes in. Ever thought of that?” Her finger poked me in the chest, punctuating each word as she spoke.
“But,” I said, intending to explain that I had no hang-ups about being open to attractions from all kinds of people.
“But nothing. Maybe your destiny isn’t some sweet ‘daddy’s girl’. Maybe your destiny is a motorcycle leather daddy in Ohio.”
“God, I hope not,” I blurted. “Motorcycles are dangerous. I’m always lecturing my brothers about them. Darci calls them donor—”
“Fuck Darci,” the woman growled. “Clearly she’s not the one. Stop going for the expected safe bet, and try something new, something adventurous. You need some passion in your life. I’m not sure the sweetie-pie nurse lit your fire. When was the last time you took a vacation?”
“Ah… you mean besides visiting my parents in Singapore?”
“Yes, besides that.”
“Um… I went camping with a couple of my brothers about four years ago.”
“More than two hours away from home?” she asked with narrowed eyes.
“No, ma’am.”
“Have you ever gotten lost on purpose?”
“No, ma’am. Why would I?” Even the thought of not having a plan or schedule to go by each day made my neck feel hot and itchy.